


you've got mail

by frenchleaves



Category: Naruto
Genre: (but I love him so much), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Confused Nara Shikamaru, F/F, I'm taking all the women away from kishimoto and writing them over myself, Just for fun!! there's minimal angst and the idea is silly i just wanted to write this, Kissing, M/M, Miscommunication, Smoking, They're like... 22 or 23 here, Thinly veiled Amazon critique, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship, Uchiha Sasuke Being an Asshole, mail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25272241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenchleaves/pseuds/frenchleaves
Summary: shikamaru's life goes to shit when he starts receiving mail packages that are not for him.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nara Shikamaru/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 16
Kudos: 139





	you've got mail

**Author's Note:**

> I accidentally spent two whole years writing this sporadically. The other day I found the energy to finish it. I don't even like this ship in the first place, but here you go. Honestly, it starts terrible but I liked the ending. I'm okay with that.
> 
> this spent an entire year being called "shikamaru's done with life" if that is any clue of how this will go.
> 
> OH this is in no way a you've got mail au. just to clarify. 
> 
> i've got no beta and i'm too lazy to check grammar. if u see any mistakes point them out pls!!

The doorbell rings at exactly 7:15am and Nara Shikamaru is ready to blast someone off the face of the Earth. _Who_ on their right mind has the galls to wake him up this early on? The sun had _just_ risen and it was a Saturday, people should _not_ be awake before at least 10:00am.

But still, someone is outside his apartment door.

What a drag.

Shikamaru sighs and abandons all dignity as he stands up from his bed. His _really_ comfortable bed. The Nara should still be beneath the covers, surrounded by the warmth of his long stay in bed, but here he is, standing up to go open the door since someone had decided to ring his bell at 7:15 in the morning. And so, Shikamaru puts on his house slippers–to avoid making a mess of his place, he is too lazy to tidy up after himself–and makes his way over the entrance.

The man rubs the sleep off his face and ties his hair up in a bun before spying on the intruder through the peephole. He can see his neighbor’s door (Shikamaru still doesn’t know with whom he shares a floor with since they moved in recently, but he doesn’t care much as long as they aren’t a nuisance), which is directly in front of his, and in front of that, there is another person, a man it seems, dressed up in Amazon Japan regalia with a package in his hands.

Huh, weird. Shikamaru hasn’t ordered anything lately. That he can at least remember.

The Nara opens the door with finality and comes face to face with the mailman. The guy has a black bandana that ties back his brown hair, is about as tall as Shikamaru, and has red marks underneath his eyes (either some weird birthmark or the guy is stupid enough to get a face tattoo). He is dressed as the typical delivery boy, with khaki shorts and a black polo shirt, as is the dog that carries the Amazon package bag. Shikamaru tries to understand the situation, but it is still too early, so he doesn’t. The shirt also includes a name tag, thankfully, which indicates that the man is named _Inuzuka Kiba_. The mailman smells like wet dog and looks at the Nara weirdly. Shikamaru deduces that both the man and the dog would agree that it is still too early, from the tense posture the man carries himself with and the dry laments in the corners of his eyes. He wouldn’t want to be in the delivery boy’s position, and it seems the man wishes he too were somewhere else.

But since they are both here, and Shikamaru desperately wishes to go back to bed, he nods at the guy and makes a vague hand gesture for him to do his job.

“Good morning, Nara-san. Here is the package you ordered,” The mailman, Inuzuka, still gives him a weird look, and Shikamaru should make something off it, but he decides not to. It is, once again, too early.

Shikamaru takes the package, even though he hasn’t ordered anything. “I didn’t order anything,” he rumbles, his voice gruff as he has just woken up, “It must be a mistake. This is troublesome.”

The Inuzuka sighs and stops giving him the weird look. “Thank kami, I wouldn’t think someone like you would order a Go Girl.” He laughs a bit awkwardly, and taps the package impatiently, “But the package is still addressed to this apartment, Nara-san, so I must ask you to sign and I will leave the package with you. Do with it what you will, but I don’t want to be fired.” The dog beside him, name tag in the little shirt indicates his name is Akamaru, barks, and the mailman seems to understand it perfectly, much to Shikamaru’s befuddlement.

The Nara shrugs noncommittally and extends his hand so Kiba can hand him the pen to sign. “That’s alright, I’ll just keep whatever that is.”

Kiba does hand him the pen, and so Shikamaru signs the delivery. He takes the package and places it on the right side of the door, just outside of his apartment door. The Inuzuka looks at the newly abandoned package, then at Shikamaru, and Akamaru once again barks.

The situation is still too absurd, and Shikamaru’s now actually waking up. He does plan to go back to sleep, so it is not an option for him to fully wake up.

He has to go back to his _really_ comfortable bed.

“Anyways, I have to go,” Shikamaru states, and nods at both the man and dog, “Thank you, Inuzuka-san, Akamaru. Goodbye.” The Nara then turns and stretches his neck, which cracks too loudly for someone who is only twenty.

“Good bye, Nara-san!” Kiba says with a bit more energy than before, as if he knows something he doesn’t. Just before Shikamaru closes his door and leaves the package outside, the mailman that still smells like wet dog calls out, “A Go Girl is used to pee on the go. Hope you make use of it!”

Shikamaru closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Of _course_ . Of _course_ that would make its way to his doorstep. What a fucking drag.

The Nara closes his door, pushes the situation to the dark corner of his mind, and goes the fuck back to sleep. The clock shines with the time, now 7:32am, and Shikamaru resists the urge to throw that one package off the window. He lost almost fifteen minutes of precious sleep thanks to a mistake from Amazon.

He should really make that package burn, but later, when he is actually awake.

Shikamaru hears a shuffle outside of his door, but supposes Akamaru is still outside, and gets beneath the covers.

Later on, when he makes his way out to meet with Ino and Choji, Shikamaru discovers that the package is gone.

* * *

The Ino-Shika-Cho trio sits in their usual corner of the BBQ place, which is the home to Choji’s favorite food _ever_ (as he might say, often dramatically). 

They sit in the smoking-allowed section, so Shikamaru is allowed to light a cigarette then and there while they eat. Ino ordered some salad with a milkshake–which sounds counterproductive but Shikamaru doesn’t dare to call her out–and Choji has endless BBQ ribs in the grill in front of him. Shikamaru has already finished his own chicken wings, so he takes a sip or two of his coke and another drag of his cig.

It takes Ino about ten minutes to notice that Shikamaru is dwelling on something, but is not sharing it with his closest friends. That is something Ino will do something about, but just before dessert (There is always dessert with Choji). For now, though, Shikamaru dingles the cigarette between his fingers, a far away look in his eyes as if trying to complete a puzzle for which he does not have all the pieces.

When dessert does come–Ino orders nothing, but steals a bite from Shikamaru’s mango ice cream and Choji’s chocolate wet cake–Ino brings up her friend’s secret musings.

“So, Shika, what’s up with you?” Ino starts, and then takes a sip from her milkshake. “You have just hummed and nodded throughout our entire conversation of Sakura’s old friend from the Agency.”

“I’m missing something.” Shikamaru says conversationally, his hands falling down to his habit thinking pose, “It has to be that, there is no other reason,”

“No other reason for what?” Choji asks, cautiously watching the Nara.

“There was a package today,” he starts, “That was delivered to my door, without any context since I haven’t ordered anything. And yet, it was addressed to my place. I signed and just left it outside, since it was nothing I needed, but when I left to come here, it was gone. Someone must have taken it, but I don’t know whom.”

Ino and Choji let out low _hms_ in understanding. It is quite a debacle, actually. Shikamaru has a pass to look somewhat confused.

Choji, ever the one to see the bigger pictures, comments. “What about your neighbors? They would be the most obvious thieves, in this case.”

Shikamaru and Ino agree with the idea. It is indeed the most obvious choice. 

“Yeah,” Shikamaru goes, “but that’s the thing, I know none of my neighbors.”

“Not even the closest one? Like, the one in front of you?” asks Ino.

Shikamaru shrugs, “Not really, since they just moved in. Plus, it’s such a drag to be cordial to neighbors. As long as they don’t annoy me, I’m fine coexisting with someone I don’t know.”

“Haven’t you lived there for over a _year_? What are you now, a hermit? Maybe you should knock on some doors,” says Ino, ever the socialite.

Choji shakes his head. “No, Shika’s not like that. He’d probably knock on one door, get tired, and go back to his place. Tomorrow’s Sunday, either way. No mail on Sundays. And maybe this was a one-time thing, and the delivery people will stop bothering you so early in the morning!”

“Shit, you’ve practically just jinxed it, Choji!” Ino shoves the Akimichi playfully, and he gives a soft shove in return.

Shikamaru hopes it is a one-time situation, but he has a very bad feeling about it.

How troublesome.

* * *

Sunday goes smoothly. Shikamaru wakes up at noon, almost at half past twelve, he drinks his coffee while smoking a cig, and thoroughly relaxes up until 6pm, when he calls his mom for his weekly update on the Nara’s life. 

Either way, he doesn’t dare to mention the package, since that would call upon Yoshino’s “someone is out to kill you” response and would probably make him move places for his safety again. Considering his dad’s job in the government and his own internship within, it would definitely not be an unfounded response, but Shikamaru prefers to stay right where he is. He is way too comfortable in his apartment, near his closest friends’ residences, the downtown, and the office in which he interns. It is virtually a perfect thing he wouldn’t trade at the moment.

For that, he stays quiet.

He does tell his mom about his outing with the other two halves of the Ino-Shika-Cho team, that “No, he already broke up with Temari and she is in a great relationship with TenTen, he is not going to try to get her back”, that “Yes, I will go to the family dinner you are planning next Thursday”, that “No, he will not attend the Agency’s classes when he already knows everything they teach,” and that “No, I will not go meet with your friend’s daughter for a date.” He finishes the call, eats a bowl of cereal, and goes to sleep after a few tosses and turns.

It is a great day.

It is Monday that has him cursing the existence of Amazon, Japan’s delivery service, and all the dumbasses in the world that have it out to him, as well as their mothers. 

* * *

The clock reads 7:09am when the damned doorbell rings.

Shikamaru groans and, when the doorbell rings again, frowns. Now it is definitely someone outside of his door, and they seem impatient for him to answer them. He curses the existence of doorbells and he, once again, puts on his house slippers and makes his way towards the door. The doorbell rings once more and the Nara breathes heavily, clearly annoyed.

He turns the handle and meets the round eyes of the most obnoxious person he has had to interact before his morning coffee.

“Yosh!” The delivery boy says, with a name tag that gives the boy the name of _Rock Lee_ , and it is pinned over the most hideous green bodysuit (what the fuck), as well as a utility belt, leg warmers (what the _fuck_ ), and a package bag, “I am here to deliver a package to our most youthful buyer!”

Shikamaru can and does raise an eyebrow at that. “I am, quite literally, too tired for this.”

“It is never too early to be awake!” the delivery boy practically screams in his ear, making the customer wince a bit. “Please sign here for me to continue my work on this youthful morning of a thousand suns!” Shikamaru is so very confused. Maybe the delivery service that Amazon (apparently) contracts has a bit of a shady human resources sector, or they are just sending their interns, which would really make sense. His office often sends Shikamaru to do the dirty work, and delivering weird packages to Shikamaru’s door does seem like too dirty of a job _not_ to send an intern.

“What even is it this time? So I can see if I leave it out this time too to see if anyone picks it up again,” the Nara drawls, and the shocked look on Rock Lee is worth it.

“It is not youthful or manly to leave packages around where anyone can steal them! Japan’s delivery service is a serious business that must be respected and honored, and it is up to you and me to uphold these morals so that all packages are given to their respective owners before their due date! Yosh!” the man rambles, and Shikamaru just nods, signs the paper, and takes the package in his hands.

“Thank you, Rock Lee-san, I need to continue my work now,” Shikamaru lets out a little white lie, just so he can get some more rest before his 9 o’clock internship.

“No, thank _you!_ Nara-san. Hope you enjoy your must youthful purchase!” and with that Shikamaru doesn’t have the heart or energy to tell him he hasn’t ordered anything, and just closes his door.

Shikamaru walks up to his kitchen counter, drops the package, and actually dares to open it. It is not difficult, he just takes some scissors to cut the tape, and the medium sized box opens very anticlimactically. He verifies that, yes, the package was really sent to his place, but under the account of one _foxy.uzunaru10_. The Nara cringes a bit at the user, but he has at least a clue on the sender. Shikamaru is definitely underwhelmed, for he was expecting too much of a mysterious package. However, when he looks at the inside, he lets out a muffled curse.

It is the exact same jumpsuit the delivery guy, Rock Lee, had been wearing.

He drops the hideous thing inside, closes the box again, and drops it carelessly outside of his entrance.

_That_ is a thing he does not even want near.

* * *

It is thirty minutes later, while Shikamaru is within deep sleep, that the door in front of his own opens silently.

The blonde man slips outside. He is still in his pajamas, but looks as if he has been awake for a while, maybe more than an hour. The neighbor turns left and right to see if anyone is looking, kind-of long hair flapping with the wind, and usurps the opened package in his neighbor’s door.

He quietly goes back to his apartment with the jumpsuit, which he had been too embarrassed to send to his actual place. He knew some of the people who worked at the delivery service, as his ex-girlfriend _and_ ex-boyfriend worked there, and didn’t want that buy being coined back to him.

Thank kami for new neighbors.

He just hopes the guy that lived in front of him wouldn’t make a fuss about the situation.

* * *

Shikamaru leaves for his internship at 9:10am, and notices the package is now gone.

_Good riddance,_ he thinks, and continues with his day.

The Nara hopes that the two-times a coincidence was the actual reason for the mysterious packages, but Shikamaru knows his luck, and he knows this is really only the beginning.

* * *

It is Wednesday when Shikamaru has a first sighting of his front door neighbor, and all he can say is that the goddamned bastard is incredibly loud for how hot he is.

Shikamaru has always liked men, and it is a recent development that he discovers that he is not really attracted to women. But why is it always the annoying ones that get all the good genes? First Hyuuga Neji from work, then Uchiha Sasuke from that one time he went out with Ino, and now his neighbor. 

He decides not to dwell on it much.

But he is closing his door when the one in front of him quickly opens up, and the blonde guy steps out, looking immaculate if it weren’t for the amount of orange he is decked in. The blonde smiles at Shikamaru, and takes off running, which should’ve been suspicious in the first place, but Shikamaru’s not paying attention to that, but instead to the delivery guy who just stepped out of the elevator, and is now heading towards his own door.

The brunette sighs and keeps his door opened, not wanting to take too much time on this delivery mishap again. 

The delivery man looks familiar, as if he had seen him before a considerable amount of times, but Shikamaru cannot remember where he has met the guy. He can’t even see if the guy visually recognizes him, since the mailman has a hood and dark glasses that hide most of his face. He carries a suitcase, which quite possibly is for the packages he is obviously delivering. The name tag in his hoodie indicates that his name is _Aburame Shino_ , but at this point Shikamaru doesn’t even care who is delivering the packages, but the one ordering and sending them to his place.

He also desperately wants to know who in their right mind is ordering a Go Girl, A Full Body _Green_ Spandex Jumpsuit, and whatever it is that he is getting now.

The delivery boy stops just outside of his apartment, and looks at him. “Are you Nara Shikamaru-san?”

Shikamaru nods, defeated by the mysterious sender. He at least has the user, but hasn’t actually searched for him. He will now that he has time as he has finished his afternoon classes.

“Sign here to complete the delivery.” Shino gives him the pen and the digital form, which Shikamaru diligently sings.

“What did I get this time?” Shikamaru asks, “Bacon-flavored floss? A Fucking used toilet seat? What is this little shit sending now?” Kami, he is in desperate need of a cigarette on this fine afternoon. Maybe even some overpriced coffee would be good now, to ease the tension and confusion in his body.

He sure is missing a piece of this puzzle, and Shikamaru wants nothing if not answers.

“That would be…a chest plate?” Aburame Shino says, a bit of confusion seeping into his statement, “A chest plate.”

Shikamaru lets a low whistle, “Now, _that_ is interesting. Why the fuck would someone send a fucking chest plate to my place? It makes no fucking sense. It’s absurd.” And it is, and Shikamaru is so done with this whole situation. “Thank you, though. Good customer service, Aburame-san.”

The mailman nods and gets on his way out, as silent as he came. Shikamaru leaves the package outside his door again, hoping it goes away before at least 7 pm, or when he next leaves the apartment.

“This is such a fucking drag, and I’m too tired to deal with this shit.”

The Nara takes out his cigs and smokes two before going to shower.

* * *

On Thursdays, he goes out and helps Ino in her family’s flower shop before going out to eat with her, Sakura, and Neji.

It is a weird group, but they’ve all worked in the same internship the year before and had bonded over low priced coffee and drunk bosses. They had worked in the Agency under the ever-strict eye of Senju Tsunade within the administration of the major (who was currently still in power), Namikaze Minato. Shikamaru has never even seen the guy up front, but he had been told by Ino that he was very kind and had a wicked sense of humor and morals and whatnot. At the time though, he had only cared to finish whatever paperwork the Senju sent his way so she wouldn’t throw empty sake bottles to his head. He was choosing his battles and all that.

Now, the group meets every once in a while to update each other on their lives. It is basically useless for Shikamaru to get updates on Ino’s life and vice versa since they see each other every day or so, but he is a bit invested in the lives of Sakura and Neji at this point, even if he doesn’t care to show it.

It is also funny to see Ino pine uselessly after Sakura when it is apparent that Sakura is obliviously pining after her too. They are both still working under Tsunade, and their dynamic has been the same for a while now, which involves pining, a weird ass rivalry, and sake. 

That is none of his business though.

It is after a while–Shikamaru has smoked almost four cigs at this point, and Neji and Ino are still finishing their respective drinks–when the blonde brings up the whole package fiasco. Sakura chokes a bit on her food when Ino just shoots up and says, “Shika, how’s the mystery package situation going?” and Shikamaru can only reply that the Go Girl, green jumpsuit, and chest plate are no longer in his grasp.

Sakura recovers a bit before she tilts her head to the side, a clear sign of confusion. “What even is the mystery package situation?” (They have been referring to it that way since last Tuesday, for obvious reasons).

Shikamaru just sighs and explains. “Last Saturday, this fucking misplaced package arrived on my door, and it was even addressed at my place so it wasn’t even misplaced in the first place, but now I keep getting these weird ass packages. There have been three in total, but I have this feeling there’s gonna be at least three more before I even know who is sending them.”

Sakura nods, “And you’ve been sent…a Go Girl you obviously don’t need, a green spandex jumpsuit, and a chest plate?” As to which the Nara nods.

Neji proceeds to laugh at him. The bastard.

“I have a lead though,” Shikamaru starts, “The user of the person who is sending everything to my place.”

Everyone leans forward, waiting for the brunette to share the information.

Shikamaru continues, “The user is something like fox, uzunaru and a number, maybe it was a ten. Yeah, it was _foxy-dot-uzunaru10_ , which made me give up a bit on finding the guy, since the address is obviously for my place, and he doesn’t have a public email for me to contact him.”

Ino hums under her breath as Sakura chokes once again on her drink. “Uzunaru you say?” Sakura asks, a bit distressed.

The Nara nods. “You know anything about that?”

“Not really, but I can definitely ask around!” Sakura answers, way too quickly for someone who apparently knows nothing of the topic. Shikamaru still lets it go, for both her sake and his–he does _not_ want Ino on his case right now. It sounds suspicious, even now that Ino and Neji are both narrowing their eyes at the medicine student. Sakura ignores them and clasps her hands as she rests her elbows on the table. “Neji! I heard you were getting this actual job offer from the Agency. Like, actually getting _paid_ …”

Ino gasps and Neji grumbles, and apparently that’s that of the mystery package conversation.

* * *

Friday should’ve been normal, but Shikamaru does not have that commodity.

The shouting starts at about 8:10am, still too early for the Nara for it to be even comprehensible to be up. He doesn’t recognize the voices, but one sounds eerily similar to Sakura’s (who has never been to his building). The other voice, way deeper than the girl’s (…Sakura’s?) is even more shrill than any other voice he has ever heard before, and Shikamaru laments the sleep he is now missing.

“You dumbass! Why are you getting people you don’t even know in such weird ass situations?” The girl screams, and Shikamaru can hear it as if she was just besides him.

“I can’t see them! They can’t know I live here now, or they’d ask too many questions! Even worse, they would come by!” The man ushers her, and the brunette can even hear his underlying wish for the girl to calm down. They continue, but the man pays them no mind and does his best to ignore them.

Shikamaru grumbles, “Why does it have to be me? Why am I the one to have to put up with noisy neighbors? This is such a drag.” He covers his head with the nearest pillow and makes his way back to deep slumber.

* * *

At half past twelve on Saturday, just a week after the whole situation started, someone _knocks on_ his door.

Huh, that’s new.

The knock is heavy, so someone with a lot of force must be outside. They’re probably here to deliver another package, since Shikamaru knows no one that would come up to his place and _knock_ when there’s a doorbell right there. The Nara also has incredible bad luck, so it is obvious that another not-misplaced package has made its way to his doorstep. Shikamaru has a bit of a track record to avoid every single one of his problems, but this once he makes his way quickly towards the door to tackle this upfront. He moves to open the door by the handle, but midway he just stops in surprise at the person outside.

“Jiraiya-sama? What are you doing here?” the brunette questions, very confused. “I thought you were aboard helping up Namikaze-sama with some treaties with Iwagakure.”

Jiraiya's booming laugh reverberates through the corridor, and Shikamaru fights the urge to verify there’s no one else there. “I am doing a favor to someone I own a debt to, the woman who directs human resources and is in charge of the interns. I should not have gambled a favor to Anko. That always ends in a certified disaster. You know this one time-“

“Jiraiya-sama,” Shikamaru interrupts. He does not want to hear about Jiraiya’s escapades or why he _owes a favor to Mitarashi Anko, wait, isn’t that Orochimaru’s protégé from a while back, oh my god…_

The tall man does look as if he came here because of a favor. He has his trademark green set up, but with the black polo shirt for a top. The shirt looks a bit tight, and there is a tag already there– _Uzumaki Mito_ –so Shikamaru deduces that Anko gave Jiraiya a borrowed shirt, and a woman’s shirt on top of that. Over that rests his red haori, which looks disheveled from running around to deliver packages. The red marks on his face remind the Nara of the first delivery boy, Kiba, and decides that the people around him really have weird birthmarks or (and?) face tattoos.

“You came with a package for me I suppose,” Shikamaru states, for which Jiraiya smiles in his incredibly perverted way. The brunette hears a shuffle from his next-door neighbor, but ignores it.

Shikamaru has a bad feeling about this.

“Ho, boy. And what a package! Hope you use all of it quickly,” He winks after saying that, a rather exaggerated gesture for which Shikamaru is not unused to, knowing the man. It had never been directed at _him_ though, and he was kind of disgusted.

The Nara grumbles. “It’s another weird thing again?” As Jiraiya grins with mirth, Shikamaru sighs. “Obviously. I need a smoke after this,” he says, and then quickly gives Jiraiya an explanation, just to clarify that whatever he is holding he didn’t order. “There’s this person who has been sending packages to my place. I’ve no idea who it is, and I’m too tired to ask around, especially since I have to go work at the office and study on top of that.”

Jiraiya looks thoughtful. Shikamaru has seen the look on the man before, as the lead strategist in the International Relations office in Japan, and also the most renowned informant in Konohagakure. Which is surprising considering the man’s quirks and perverted ways, but he leaves that to the government. He is even wearing traditional Japanese wooden sandals to deliver packages. The man is obviously insane.

“What is their Amazon account? I think I could search them for you.”

Shikamaru narrows his eyes. Nothing even comes without a price with this man. “What do you want in return?”

Jiraiya giggles, which makes Shikamaru take a step back. It was easy to forget that such an uncommitted perverted man could be so important in the entire country. “Can you give me the number of that blonde friend of yours? The pretty one?”

“Ino?” Shikamaru splutters, “She’s almost thirty years younger than you, and a lesbian, you pervert.” 

The white haired man looks downtrodden, but accepts the comment nonetheless. “That’s fair. Other favor, hmm. Can you go get me an appointment with Tsunade-hime? I can’t go there myself because she’d kill me. But I heard you interned under her for a while, and Haruno Sakura-san, a friend of yours according to what I gathered from Sand, works under her. Pleeeease.” Jiraiya drags the last word for about ten seconds. Shikamaru is even impressed.

“Sure. I’ll contact Sakura about that. The account name was _foxy-uzunaru10_ if I recall. The address is obviously my place, and I can’t seem to get an email–”

Shikamaru hears an “eep” and a crash from a distance. Maybe his neighbor tripped over something.

“ _Foxy.uzunaru10? Really?”_ Jiraiya drawls, a smile creeping on his face. He turns to see the door of his next-door neighbor, and once again giggles. “I have a bit of an inkling of whom that may be, that stupid bastard. If you, with your super intelligence or whatever, don’t find him in a week, do contact me.” Jiraiya drops the package and makes Shikamaru quickly sign off the delivery. “Do remember about the appointment though. There’s something I have to tell the hime about Kumo and Kiri. Have fun with the 55 gallons of lube!”

And with that, Jiraiya takes off running, and another crash can be heard from his neighbor’s apartment. Shikamaru decides to not give a fuck anymore and leaves the package outside and untouched.

_55 gallons of lube._

What the _fuck._

(This package disappears in under five minutes, a new record. Shikamaru is only a tad concerned with the owner’s motives).

* * *

The sound of dragged footsteps drowns in the chaos of the office. The chaos of _Tsunade’s_ office, to be more precise. 

Shikamaru has not missed this work scene. He also hates the fact that he’s in here now, but if he wants the information, he has got to get Jiraiya an appointment with Tsunade. He is now a glorified messenger pigeon, as Chouji says when Shikamaru rants over his problems with misplaced mail over the phone. He plays with his lighter as he thinks of his friend and how simple life would be if they had just stayed roommates, but Chouji had to move to a new place closer to his university, since it was a bit complicated for him as they were. Chouji could help him with this.

The thing is that Shikamaru is intelligent enough, he knows and others will verify, to deduce who the _fuck_ is sending all those fucking packages, but right now he has not the time nor the motivation to complete said mental puzzle, and other than the embarrassment, it hasn’t affected him enough for it to be actually frustrating. It is obvious he knows, that with a bit more of information, he will _know_ who exactly is the mystery sender, so that is why he is actually going through with Jiraiya’s favor. Whom else could have the information other than the international informant? The fact is that he is now in Tsunade’s office searching for Sakura, hoping he doesn’t encounter either his past boss nor Ino.

The Nara–obviously, fuck you fate–singles Ino out from a far away crowd, and starts walking faster towards the lab in which Sakura often works. He sees Shizune running around with some piles of paperwork in her hands, and Hatake Kakashi, the current diplomatic envoy between all areas in the Agency, is lagging behind her reading an orange book ( _Jiraiya’s,_ the boy notices, and is immediately disgusted by both Hatake for reading that in public and himself for recognizing it).

He shakes his head and continues with the mission.

The door to the lab in which Sakura works looms over him for a bit, and he considers _not_ giving Jiraiya the appointment and instead finds out on his own who’s sending the packages by himself. In the end, he does hesitate but knocks on the door and waits for the medic’s sign to enter the room. When the hum of acknowledgement from Sakura does come, Shikamaru slides the door and is instantly hit with the scent of antiseptics and clean that he absolutely hates from hospitals and laboratories. The room also smells distinctively as different chemicals that look as if they could burn through Shikamaru in seconds, and the Nara knows that is the most probable scenario if he were to go near those. His eyes wander around the chemicals and sparse notes Sakura has left around, up until they meet the girl’s eyes and then Tsunade’s.

Ugh, she’s here.

Shikamaru had been wanting to avoid the head medic for several reasons, including both his mental health and physical wellbeing, but by the looks of it he would not escape unscathed from the laboratory. For all that’s worth, Shikamaru nods his head in respect for Tsunade, and gives Sakura a weak wave.

“Hello Shika-kun, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Sakura says, eyes moving between Shikamaru and Tsunade. 

Before the Nara can even respond, the boss goes off with her explosive attitude. “The _fuck_ you doing here, Nara. You haven’t worked here in almost a year and a half! I have half a mind to throw you off the window for interrupting our research, or maybe I’ll just poison you with the recent liquid Suna sent a while back, and see if our counter actually works, which I know it still doesn’t. So get your ass out–“

The man knows this will only just make it worse, but he has no other choice at the moment. “Jiraiya,” he mutters as he interrupts Tsunade, who’s glare would kill him if she didn’t first. Good to know they still continued that love-hate-something relationship of theirs. Sakura’s eyes widen, and then she actually looks over to Shikamaru, who is currently very, _very_ tense. The pink haired-girl sends him a look, and Tsunade’s eyes fill with rage at each passing moment. Then, he continues. “Jiraiya sent me. I owe him a favor and he wanted to speak with you, Tsunade-sama, but is apparently too busy, or scared in my opinion, to come here himself.”

It takes approximately less than a millisecond for Tsunade to throw a lone glass capsule against the wall in anger. “That fucking bastard!” She grumbles while Sakura is already on her way back with a broom to clean all the broken glass, “He’s too scared to face me after eight months, huh?”

Shikamaru has no real answer for that, so he just shrugs and looks at the pink-haired girl for help in order to bag Jiraiya an appointment with the loose gambler. After a quick eye glare match, which Shikamaru obviously wins, Sakura sighs and stops sweeping for her to speak with the Senju.

“Tsunade-shishou, maybe it’d be for the best for you to meet with Jiraiya,” Sakura winces just after she finishes uttering the last part of her improvised speech, and at Tsunade’s angry grumble, “You two haven’t seen each other in almost a year. For whatever reason, you are actually childhood friends, and it’s nice to keep up with childhood friends, no matter how annoying they are. I know how it feels to have annoying childhood friends, believe me, and it’s nice to keep up with each other’s lives every once in a while…”

“Sakura, I don’t give a fuck about ‘childhood’ friends or whatever.” Tsunade states while raising an eyebrow, “I know Naruto and Sasuke are annoying but comparing them to Jiraiya and Orochimaru is exaggerating, really.” Sakura considers that for a moment and shrugs in defeat with a low mumble. Shikamaru feels out of place and desperately wants to walk out of this office. Still, he has a job to do.

The Nara cracks his neck from side to side, which makes Tsunade wince. The head medic quickly recovers from the gross sound while the student finishes cleaning up Tsunade’s latest anger-caused disaster. “Where were we, either way? I have to actually finish searching for the counter for this poison.”

For the fifth time this week, Shikamaru just decides to take an upfront approach to the situation. “Jiraiya-sama’s appointment with you, Tsunade-sama.” And that’s all it takes for Tsunade to throw another glass utensil against the wall, some pieces even falling through the window. “That bastard dumbass! I’m going to kill him!”

Shikamaru must have a guardian angel up there in the heavens that only acts up in life or death situations, because just when Tsunade was about to throw a glass plate at him–one which neither him not Sakura could have stopped, for the gambler turned head medic is as fast as she is strong–Hatake Kakashi decides to flop from the ceiling vent right in between him and the blonde, and catches the plate in between his fingers. His other hand, unfortunately, still holds the orange book. The Hatake’s grey hair, which the Nara has heard is definitely hereditary and not dyed, seems anti-gravity, and his eyes twinkle while giving Tsunade a masked smile. “Don’t kill the messenger, Tsunade-hime. You know you don’t really want to fill in those forms. Either way, Shizune is calling you. Apparently some dumbass decided to try and microwave a cartoon of eggs in a bathtub, something I would have never imagined could happen, really. Shizune says it’s urgent and she needs you.” And with four quick movements and a flash, the man gets out of the office in less than five seconds.

For all that it’s worth, the Nara could only dream to be as fast as him and escape from both Tsunade’s _and_ Sakura’s clutches. 

His dreams become half-true when Tsunade huffs, quickly takes off possibly poisoned clothing, and leaves the room. Shikamaru sighs in relief as the room’s tension becomes one with relief and only two people remain.

Sakura looks at Shikamaru, his disheveled state, and the leftover broken glass laying on the floor. The medic student takes a deep breath and gives the Nara a small yet honest smile. “I’m sorry. I know you probably weren’t expecting Tsunade when you snuck in, but what you want is not always what you get.”

The man huffs a silent laugh and shrugs. “Don’t worry about it, Sakura. It’s not something I haven’t experienced before.”

Sakura does smile at that, walks closer to Shikamaru, and gives him a weak slap on the side of the shoulder. “Yeah, you’re right. Either way, I can force Shizune into getting Tsunade to the appointment. Just tell Jiraiya to get here before lunch so she’s sober enough and doesn’t destroy half the office.”

Shikamaru could kiss Sakura at that moment, but Ino could probably walk in and that’d be too hard to explain amidst the tantrum that the blonde would make towards the Nara. Either way, his job here is done, and his escape from the building can even be rivaled to Hatake’s quick one from earlier. 

Thank god for Sakura.

* * *

Sunday passes without much debacle, and with Monday returns the conundrum of problems present in Shikamaru’s life.

The brunette wakes up and knows he’s going to be late for class, so he might as well just throw the towel then and there so that everything that happens after that at least doesn’t disappoint him to the point of fatigue. He doesn’t, so all that’s left is get ready fast enough and go to his class. Thank god it’s Modern Politics with Inoichi, who has known him since childbirth and may be lenient with late attendance.

Of course, that plan goes right into the trash when he hears a known on his front door, and fights back a groan of annoyance. Of _all_ the days to choose to annoy the ever-loving fuck out of him, Kami chose the worst one.

Just his luck, how troublesome.

The next knock, which had at first been timid, grows in strength and reverberates throughout the apartment. Shikamaru resigns himself to answer what he supposes is another delivery to his door from mysterious Amazon user _foxy.uzunaru10_. His footsteps too seem incredibly loud in the quiet tension surrounding his place. He jingles the door handle with lagged movements, and in his sleepy stupor remembers that it is locked. In his second attempt to get this over with, the Nara takes the key between his fingers and turns it so the door opens with a click. There, in all the glory one can have at 9:00am, stands the delivery boy.

It is one of the men that have come before, the mysterious hood guy with shades that Shikamaru recalls was called Aburame _something_ , but is too lazy to remember the rest. The hood may be a different color, a shade darker, but maybe the Nara’s eyes are failing him. The shades, however, are still placed on the bridge of his nose, obscuring the upper half of his face, as if a reverse Hatake Kakashi mask. This time, however, the main difference is that the delivery boy seems to be buzzing, and the lazy genius can guess that it’s not because of excitement.

While his face betrays no emotion–thanks to his glasses and hood obscuring most of his face with the exception of a glimmer of a pressed mouth–his voice is a whole other story. “I have another delivery for you.” Aburame states, voice too emotionless for it not to be inferred that the man is incredibly confused and decidedly buzzing, “For all that is worth, I hope it is the situation is the same as it was the last time. Why? Because you do not seem like an irrational man.”

Shikamaru likes the calm and quiet, and such buzzing is not helping him. He lets out a groan and presses a hand up onto his eyes, some dry laments sticking to his palm. “What is it this time?”

The Aburame lets out what could only be called a sigh of relief. “It seems it is the same predicament. I’m sorry to be delivering this to you, but you do have to sign the form. Why? Because it was sent to your place and I’m doing my job. I would advise you to avoid opening the package, or doing so with many precautions.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shikamaru mumbles, “But what is it?”

“From what the company told me, there are a thousand and five hundred bees in this box, sent only because the user paid an extra fee to ship live insects.”

And then, the buzzing is the only sound that follows the uncomfortable silence of that abrupt revelation. Shikamaru and the Aburame make what the Nara would guess is eye contact and revel in the silence for a whole minute. 

Against his will, as everything in his life has been proven to be, the Nara is the one that breaks the silence. “Okay, that’s just…It’s just…” He lets a defeated chuckle in disbelief, “The sender must be pulling a prank on me. There’s no way he’s sending 1,500 bees to my address.” And yet the buzzing tells them both otherwise.

Shikamaru throws a crude hand gesture up to the heavens and to whomever has it out for it. Aburame makes a noise that can be translated into a small laugh, but remains still and mysterious. The Nara takes the virtual form in his hands and with skilled fingers signs his name in the received line. He takes the package in his hands, the buzzing box moving slightly as if a ticking bomb, and places it carefully just outside his door. There is no way he’s ever going to have a box of 1,500 bees inside his place, it’d be too troublesome if they even bothered to get out.

He closes the door with a thud, not caring enough about the delivery boy who still stood outside, finished getting ready, and took his morning coffee.

Maybe class with his semi-uncle would give him some semblance of reality.

* * *

Even on time constraints, it is more than an hour later–when his front door neighbour has definitely left–that Uzumaki Naruto opens his door with unprecedented caution. 

He only has a few hours to conclude the preparation for Operation “Fuck The Uchiha”, as he has so graciously named it. Sasuke-teme, the bastard, had decided last week to give out Naruto’s number to any girl that had been asking the Uchiha out. This had not only confused the fuck out of the blonde, but had also left him with several threats and petitions to speak to the “love of their lives”, which has thoroughly annoyed the Uzumaki, and so he decided to take revenge. 

God, ever since they had broken up (which was years ago, just after he left to apprentice under Jiraiya), Sasuke’s vendetta against Naruto had grown exponentially. It’s not as if their friendship is awkward now, the two of them had always had an unbreakable bond, but Sasuke was currently hate-fucking Hyuuga Neji and had a weird thing going on with his “Work Team”, which Naruto didn’t even want to think about for more than a second. It’s not as if he was a virgin, even before Sasuke had experienced those kinds of things, but really, Sasuke was crossing the line. Even Sakura, who had only stopped sleeping with people after she started liking that blonde girl – Ino! – had kept a bit of a semblance of privacy. He wanted to keep those thoughts out of his brain, _dattebayo_!

Maybe he just had a very sensitive spot about Sasuke, not that he would really admit it.

Anyways! Naruto’s neighbour, who is very hot even when drunk on sleep and annoyment, has definitely left by now. As he consults all of his early sleuth training at the agency, he grabs the door handle with as much care as he can, trying to not give it too much pressure and make it resound through the entire room. Just as he tries to give it a turn and open the damned piece of wood, the entire lock jingles and makes as much noise as an unfed baby.

Well, at least he had left his apartment locked.

With that, the blonde gives up trying to be inconspicuous, and just continues with his life and opens the door that leads to the corridor. He had heard the encounter between his neighbour (Shikamamu?) and the delivery boy. He _knows_ the delivery guy. Shino’s an overall great guy, and a very good infiltration, covert, and tracking specialist if he remembers well from their Agency training. Naruto knows that Team 8 had severely angered Tsunade over a spectacularly failed mission, so she had sent them to Anko and had saddled Shino, Hinata, and Kiba with delivering packages for Amazon for two whole months. Gai and Lee had just always liked to volunteer for the job, but Naruto has always tried to not comment on their weird behavior, even if he fails most of the time. His mother, the one in charge of designating teams to missions, had informed him of this event, and so Naruto decided to change his address and user on his Amazon account. It’s not as if he wanted to ignore Kiba and Hinata, but those specific relationships had ended kind of awkwardly and Naruto was now avoiding them at all costs.

He still wanted to use Amazon however, since they were great at delivering their packages on time, and he wanted the agency to benefit from his purchases. Not that Amazon Japan was the front for the secret agency of the government, of course. It definitely was not. Even so, as the son of the “mayor” (his dad was really leader and president of the agency), he has several privileges on shipment, which is why he has access to the package that sat just outside his doorstep.

His door opens with a gush of cool wind, which makes the blond shudder. He normally slept in more warm pajamas, but it had been real hot the night before! The corridor smelt a bit like gas, and the paint in the walls was a bit chipped with age. There was also incessant buzzing, which came from the box of bees Naruto had ordered last week for his prank on Sasuke.

Naruto steps outside with as much grace as he could, which is surprisingly a lot. He has expectations to meet and people to please, and he did receive personal training for the agency. However, that’s neither here nor there. The Uzumaki grabs the package with careful but steady hands so the bees don’t become angry and kill him, and he sets off to his living room, dropping the bees at his table before going back and locking his front door.

Operation _Fuck The Uchiha_ will be a success.

* * *

Wednesday night draws near when Ino appears on Shikamaru’s doorstep. 

The Yamanaka doesn’t even bother knocking, and just enters the apartment as if it were her own. Chouji enters just behind her, and the door closes with a resounding thud. Shikamaru belatedly realizes that giving Ino a key to his apartment has and will come again and again bite him in the ass, but he doesn’t regret much because that gives him less responsibility to actually attend guests at his door.

Shikamaru is sitting on the specific spot on his couch where he’s both comfortable and able to watch the clouds from the open window. A messy shogi board lies on the coffee table between the couch and the TV. On the table there are some unlit cigarettes as well as consumed ones, from the time during the evening when Asuma and the Nara discussed strategy while playing old man games. Shikamaru still won every game they played, he wasn’t called a genius for nothing, but Asuma, for all that he downplays it, came close to winning once or twice.

Ino yanks on his ponytail to drag him out of his thoughts, and laughs when he groans and sinks into the coach as if putty. “Hello idiot, we’re going out today.” She tells him as she inspects her nails, feigning nonchalance. 

The Nara knows their plans for today obviously, it’s not as if he could forget Ino texting him countless times since Monday evening about it. “You’re going to finally jump Sakura’s bones or should I tell someone to push you to them?” Shikamaru drawls, satisfied with Ino’s eyes widening in reaction to his question. Even after Ino punches him on his right shoulder, his satisfaction is not short lived. “You quite literally fit the useless lesbian stereotype. It’s obvious you both like each other ever since you’ve met, and you were almost ten at the time. Now we’re eighteen almost nineteen, you should step up, or are you a coward?”

“Shut up dumbass. You haven’t gotten up in all day and if you don’t come with I might just actually punch your dick.”

Shikamaru gives the blonde woman a sideways grin. “Wouldn’t Sakura get jealous? I wouldn’t want to intrude in your pre-relationship or anything.” He jokes, and Ino lightly slaps him on the back of the head. 

Chouji whistles from behind them both, but there’s no tone of surprise from their banter. They’ve all known each other long enough to know they mean no harm. The larger man – Chouji will always say that he just has a lot of muscles, Shikamaru can confirm that he’s right – moves to the living room and stands besides Ino, obscuring Shikamaru’s view from the sky.

“Do I really have to go?” Shikamaru asks in resignation, knowing wholeheartedly that he’s obviously going out. Ino’s already in front of him and will stop at nothing to drag him to the pub in which she scheduled the rendezvous. “No one’ll miss me there. I only really know Sakura and I wouldn’t want to hinder whatever progress you two have made up until tonight.”

“We haven’t!... Shika, really, you should go.” Ino pleads with a soft voice which Shikamaru knows is just full of deception and lies, but hides a bit of truthful begging behind. Ino’s good at what she does, and the agency in which she trained specialized in persuasion, manipulation, and honeypot missions. Shikamaru himself didn’t attend the so-called agency, but he remembers passing the exam and just being tutored by his father on strategy and organizing operations for the division. Not that he cares about that or the agency, he just wants to study and get on with life, maybe settle down, have a few kids, and die from old age in a warm bed while watching the clouds. 

The Nara realizes his thoughts are going too far away and refocuses on reality and Choji's sweet face. With a sigh, he lets Ino take what she wants, as she always does in the end. Shikamaru is really not one to stand in the way of what the blonde wants, he knows that’s a slow and terrible death. His body is a bit stiff and the ticks on his neck crack as he stands up, but he quickly changes and so the trio is ready to go out and about.

“Sakura just texted me that they should be arriving in fifteen minutes, so we should go now so we’re there first. Last ones to arrive pay for the first round after all!” Ino finishes with a chuckle, and Shikamaru knows enough about finances to know that at the moment he doesn’t have enough to pay for a whole round with just them three and then continue drinking throughout the night. He’s still very curious; however, of the ‘they’ the Yamanaka mentioned, and so he asks.

Ino, as always, knows the answer and quickly shoots back. “Sakura’s team from before they disbanded and she left to intern under Tsunade, where you two met. They’re still good friends and I’m sure you’ve met some of them. There’s Uchiha Sasuke, who’s now working with Uzumaki Kushina on the town hall, Uchiha Sai, who’s having an art exposition next week if I recall–“

“Ino, I really don’t care about their lives, I just need their names.” 

Ino grouches, her expression making Chouji laugh, and the Akimichi takes over. He apparently knows the information too, which would honestly be a bit of a shocker if he weren’t part of the Judo Training Centre that’s definitely not the front for the government’s Taijutsu and Martial Arts division. “The team members were Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sai, Haruno Sakura, and Uzumaki Naruto. They’re legendary for being directly taught by Hatake, but disbanded after the Uzumaki went to travel with Jiraiya.”

Shikamaru raises an eyebrow at the last bit of information. “Someone related to Uzumaki Kushina travelled around the world with a renowned porn writer and she just let that happen?”

“I never said anything about them being related.” The blond airily states with a hint of no nonsense behind her tone, but Shikamaru just shrugs offhandedly. 

“There’s not many Uzumaki’s left after the Tsunami of twenty years ago in Whirlpool Country. I just assumed they have a relation or even a close bond. This city is big, but not as big as to not know that someone other than you has an incredibly recognizable family name.”

His response is followed with a minute of stunned silence before Choji breaks into a fit of giggles. “Only you, Shika, only you…” he mutters with laughter while shaking his head. Ino recovers just after that, and with the three of them ready, she guides her two boys towards the door to finally leave the place, eagerness oozing from every pore from her body. Just before the door closes, Choji bellows a sentence of truth and comradeship. “Let’s go lesbians, let’s go!” For which Ino lets out a resounding _”whoop!”_ and suddenly they’re all outside and on their way.

* * *

The dingy pub they go to, named _The Broken Kunai_ , is filled to the brim with several groups of people. 

Since the place is not overly known by much people other than those working for both the Agency or one of the _Sannin_ — Tsunade in the Hospital and Martial Arts Sector, Jiraiya in the Tactical division, espionage, or politics, and finally Orochimaru in scientific and technological research, as well as the Armoury — they recognize most if not all of the customers. If it weren’t for that, just from growing up with three of the major game pieces for the past war against Iwa and Kumo as their fathers makes them knowledgeable enough on the agents around them, even if undercover. The Ino-Shika-Cho formation has always been a bit famous in that aspect, even if the new generation is just three freshly minted agents with lots of potential in most areas. 

The trio sits in a lone table at the far end, after looking around and deducing that the other group has not arrived yet. The place is loud, an array of voices in different tones and pitches in the mouths of the customers. Ino takes off her faux fur jacket and hangs it from the back of her chair, sitting with legs crossed on the comfiest chair. Choji takes the seat that’s back up the wall, hitting his back on the wall, and sinks into the old cushions. It is Shikamaru who is the most alert of them three, but he downplays it. He has a bad feeling about this outing, but he still can’t put a name to the exact feeling. In his mild paranoia, he chooses the seat that both faces and is closest to the door, and then turns to face Chouji. His best friend gives him a slight honest smile, and Shikamaru’s tension drains out of him in an instant.

Choji’s smile really is magic. 

“Well,” Ino starts, tapping her fingers on the wooden table, “We at least don’t have to pay for the first round.”

Shikamaru rolls his eyes and grins. “Stop being so nervous, woman. Sakura’s going to be here any minute.” Statement which Chouji seconds with a half-hearted grunt. 

“Yeah. And you two have been kinda together for years now. I wouldn’t really be worried.” Chouji tells her, already looking at the menu. Shikamaru shrugs, having nothing left to say. Chouji has always been the empathic link between the three of them.

The waiter, a man with a blue bandana covering his hair and a needle hanging from his mouth, comes by and they order each a beer. They decide to not wait for the others, and drink a beer or two until they arrive. Sadly for them, the other group, which consists of Sakura, Sasuke, a guy that looks a lot like Sasuke but paler, and–

Oh _no_. 

Shikamaru is not one to panic. He has always been calm and collected because the amount of action taken in showing emotion is too much for his gravitational and chronic laziness. He at times doesn’t know how to react to the situations he’s put with, so he just seems like a very cold and apathetic guy. Right now, though? Right now his heart gives a cliff jump off his chest before it calms down again. But he masks it as well as he can so there’s just a small probability only Chouji reads his emotions. Chouji has always known him too well and reads him like an open book.

The Nara’s hand tenses around his beer, and stops doing whatever he was doing (blinking?). Choji side eyes him, but refrains from commenting. Shikamaru’s vision tunnels towards the man who enters last, and their gazes lock in the most dramatic sequence of events Shikamaru has experienced in years. The other guy tenses as well, and his posture is even worse than his, more so than Sakura takes his arm to stabilize him, and mutters something in his ear which makes him wince.

That’s… That’s his neighbour. 

All thoughts of calm leave his mind, because now that his neighbour will know who he is, there’ll be no calm, no time to watch the clouds, no time to play shogi against himself.

Okay, that’s just exaggerating.

The blonde man walks towards him in all of his orange glory, followed by Sakura, Sasuke, and the Sasuke look alike, whom Shikamaru supposed is Uchiha Sai. He looks at Shikamaru with an unreadable gaze–which is disconcerting taking all into consideration–for a second, before setting his gaze on Ino and Choji. Sasuke, the asshole, looks between the two and catches some sort of tension, letting out a huffed laugh. Sakura, as always, is the first to speak to Ino.

“Hello Ino-pig,” Sakura greets with a lopsided smile and a raised eyebrow, for which Ino replies with a knowing smirk. “Hello Forehead. How’s life treating you?”

Sai then asks, “Didn’t they see each other three hours ago?”, reason why Naruto elbows him on the side and stage whispers that “they’re exercising their lesbian rights!” Both girls turn to glare at the blonde, but he pays them no mind. 

Sasuke rolls his eyes, making sarcastic whoop motions with his fingers. “Yeah! Lesbian rights!” he exclaims in the blandest tone Shikamaru has ever heard after his own. Shikamaru takes a deep breath and releases all tension on his shoulders, his posture once again sagging into projecting his laziness. 

Before Ino and Sakura start with their unstoppable flirting, Shikamaru nods his head at the pink-haired woman. “Hello, woman. Nice to see you here.”

Sakura rolls her eyes and gives Shikamaru a knowing smirk. The gesture makes the genius rethink the whole situation in which he has been put in, and then it _clicks_. “You knew about this,” he says, head tilting as if pointing to the blonde man. Sakura just lets out a small but sardonic chuckle. 

Ino hits him on the back of the head as he finishes muttering under his breath. “Troublesome women.” The harpy. 

Ino and Sakura continue with whatever it is they have been doing for the past two years, and so Shikamaru’s attention turns to the rest of the group. Choji is still lounging in his chair. Sai sits besides him now, and they start talking about some art exposition that opens next week. The Nara leaves them to be, he knows that Chouji finds peace through art, and he has heard that Sai, even though one of the deadliest agents that has come from the Agency, is incredibly talented in the arts. After all, the guy is apparently preparing a gallery exposition for next month. Shikamaru thinks of what an assassin would represent through art, and may actually look forward to going if Chouji asks him. 

Sasuke sits between Sakura and Shikamaru, much to the Nara’s annoyance. The Uchiha may have his genes as a saving grace for his whole self, but it is his own genes that also send him to hell. All Uchihas have a fucking thick stick up their ass, and it clearly shows. The man looks at Shikamaru and sends both a glare and a smirk, which would be confusing if it were coming from any other person. It is also his rotten luck that, at his other side, comes to sit the orange-clad blonde.

For the first time in life, Shikamaru is the only one at loss. Everyone present, even the bartender and the waiter, for Kami’s sake, seem to know _and_ be friendly with the guy, but the Nara has near to no idea who he is. As fast as his mind goes, if he deduces correctly, there is a chance that, with all the evidence showing, the man has something to do with the major of Konoha, maybe even the famed son who has been apprenticing under Jiraiya, and now so much makes sense. 

Everything adds up to that one conclusion: Jiraiya-sama coming back from his “mission” once again, a mysterious neighbour appearing around the same time of the Sannin’s homecoming, Ino’s off-handed comment from earlier, and even Sakura’s weird behaviour in the past two weeks. The Nara will, however, keep quiet until he has more evidence. No use making a fool of himself here in front of that many assholes. And he still does have the mystery package situation on hold, which he should do something about later on.

The blonde sits beside Shikamaru then, and he and Sasuke start a glare match that holds for five seconds at most before the former turns towards the Nara with a blinding smile that could light up the whole room. “I’m Uzumaki Naruto, ‘ttebayo! I’ve just returned to the city a while ago, and I heard a lot about you from Sakura and Neji, ‘ttebayo!” the blond exclaims loudly, and Sakura looks faintly ashamed from the man’s declaration, as if she were superior to mere gossip. Shikamaru does raise a brow at her, but Ino swats her arm and regains her attention. Honestly, _women._

“I’m not going to let Neji speak to you ever again,” drawls Sasuke haughtily, and Naruto somehow earnestly rolls his eyes and ruffles Sasuke’s hair, even with the distance between then _and_ Shikamaru in between the both of them. It is annoying, if Shikamaru may say, but he doesn’t. Too troublesome. “Neji was my friend before you two started constantly fucking on every surface of his apartment, so I win, bastard!” That’s Shikamaru’s cue to take a long shot of his drink, which arrived in between the other people seated and their upcoming conversations. 

The Uzumaki then turns to Shikamaru again, a kind smile on his lips. “I’ve heard lots of good things from those two, though,” he follows the last comment directed at the Nara. “I heard you apprenticed with Baa-chan for over a _year_ , losing only to Ino and Sakura. Either way that’s fucking _crazy_ , ‘ttebayo! I once tried to learn some Taijutsu from her and I ended up dropping out of the practice after a week. She’s so brutal, ‘ttebayo..” 

The man rambled for some other minutes about _that_ experience, for which Shikamaru only reacted with a raised eyebrow and a sip of his drink.

The genius’s hands slip unconsciously into his thinking pose. Another hint of evidence seeps through the blonde’s rambling: he’s close with Senju Tsunade, which is not a normal feat for a random person. That way, he has to have some superior connection that gives him leeway to speak to her with such familiarity. Maybe they _are_ family, since Shikamaru knows the Senju and the Uzumaki have always been kind of like a pack, and the blonde did introduce himself as an Uzumaki.

Shikamaru should relax either way. It’s not that it’s _that_ important for him to crack Uzumaki's background and his connections to the Agency right now. This is just an outing with friends, and he should really finish his drink if he doesn’t want to analyse every absurdity Naruto seems to be saying. Inasmuch calm as he can be, the Nara finishes what’s left of his drink and turns to the blonde, who suddenly shuts up as he meets the Shikamaru’s eyes. 

“I’ve heard loads of you too,” Shikamaru drawls, calling with a lazy wave to the waiter for another beer, “You trip over everything a lot in the mornings. You should stop doing that.”

Naruto’s eyes widen as he splutters an apology. Sasuke rolls his eyes and turns to join Choji’s and Sai’s conversation. “That’s not me! It’s the… uh… My pet fox? Kurama? He makes a lot of noises, ‘ttebayo!”

A pet fox? That does explain some of the noise. Even if Naruto does seem able to make enough noises for a little army, Shikamaru recalls having heard other noises that didn’t seem to come from an actual person. The Nara would have to add that to the list of things he knows about Uzumaki Naruto, his apparent neighbour.

That title sounds too troublesome in Shikamaru’s brain.

“Just keep it down from now on.” 

Naruto nods earnestly and continues rambling over whatever thing, which Shikamaru only partly hears but stores in his brain for later on. 

Well, that’s one mystery down, some others to go.

* * *

“So,” Tsunade deadpans, letting her cup of tea (and sake, but don’t you dare tell Shizune, Jiraiya, she’s like the fucking police) up to her lips, and she takes a sip off it. “Why are you here.”

Jiraiya, who sits still as a slab in his chair, winces. That was not phrased as a question. His own cup of tea is hastingly placed on top of Tsunade’s desk so he can roll his shoulders back. He rubs his hands together and cracks his knuckles, which makes Tsunade roll her eyes. She sighs and gestures for him to go on. “Do you actually have to tell me something or is this just a social call, you ass. I have things to do, patients to see, and there’s a very dangerous potion in my lab.”

The man breathes in, and exhales. “No, I’m here on official Agency business.” The statement makes Tsunade finish her cup in an entire go, and Jiraiya winces again. He’s been avoiding this meeting like the plague for this exact reason. “Minato wants you to take over my mission with the treaty of Kumo, since the treaty with Iwa is going to take longer than scheduled and we _have_ to go through with our relations with Kumo.”

Jiraiya can see from here how Tsunade counts to ten and heaves a sigh before answering him. “Does he know I’m actual shit when treating people from Kumo? Even with Kiri, now that Mei’s their leader, I get on better with.”

“We’ve had good relations with Kiri for almost a decade, hime.”

“Don’t call me that,” grumbles Tsunade, and then reaches for the bottle of sake and serves herself another cup. When the light hits her just right, a sliver of shine in her honey eyes, she looks like the heavens birthed her again and again, but Jiraiya is not here to think about that. “Also, who does Minato think I can leave in charge? I’d have to take someone with me, maybe Shizune, and there’s no one else qualified to run the entire hospital.”

“You can always leave Shizune here and take an intern with you… Maybe the pink haired girl? She’s feisty enough to treat the Kumo people. That’s what I did with Naruto, but I’m leaving him here for the time being ‘cause of the whole Iwa is being kinda violent.” Tsunade looks deep in thought after Jiraiya’s words, so he lets himself continue. “You can always also take Maru’s clone and leave him in charge.”

Tsunade snaps out of reverie and narrows her eyes. “One: Never fucking suggest that I leave Kabuto in charge of my hospital ever again. That’s literally the worst fucking idea you’ve ever had, and you made a pact with Orochimaru when we were twelve to never shower again. What the fuck.” Jiraiya’s eyes widen for a second at that reminder, “Also, if you ever describe Sakura again as you do women in your little porn books, I’m going to destroy your urethra and cut through your perineum.”

That’s not terrifying at all.

“Tell Minato I have to think it over, but if I take the mission, I have to organize everything and leave Shizune in charge for the entire duration of the treaty.” The medic snaps her fingers. “Maybe I’ll take both Ino and Sakura, they have enough talent in mind and body.”

Jiraiya nods and gives Tsunade a splitting grin, which has always have had women falling on his feet (According to him, neither Tsunade, Orochimaru, or Naruto acknowledge his prowess, however sadly) “Now, about that social call you mentioned,”

Tsunade snaps up, and her hands hit the desk, making both cups tremble in their place, much as Jiraiya is right then. “Never, you shit-fucking ape.” Jiraiya notes that her eyes turn darker with rage. “I have to go. Show yourself out.” And just like a hurricane, she shoves through and leaves misery behind. Jiraiya should go now, but he’s still thinking about how Tsunade’s silk blouse looked perfect on her frame.

Shizune finds him ten minutes later, drinking the leftover sake.

* * *

Thursday is kind to Shikamaru. He gets to read his favorite book, plays some shogi by himself, and takes a 4 hour nap. Now, it is Friday who stomps on his elbows and spits on his ears. 

He has been awake for a while, as he has to arrive at the university after lunch, so he must prepare for that. Shikamaru cooks nothing, so he just survives off cereal and the coffee machine Ino gave him as a housewarming gift. He eats a spoonful of his bowl as he changes the channel of his tv, and sees that the microwave clock tells the hour—11:46am. That means he has until, if he walks with a bit of a quick pace, 1:45pm to go out, and so Shikamaru concludes he can and will take a nap. 

Just as he gets to the conclusion, the doorbell rings. 

Shikamaru lets out a pitiful groan as he lets his coffee mug on the counter. He rubs his left eyes with his palm and stands to open the door. The man knows it’s another package, but it’s still very tedious to walk up to the door and face whomever they sent this time to deliver the misplaced package. 

He opens the door and a very petite woman comes into view. Shikamaru has at least one whole meter over the woman, and he definitely towers over her. Considering she is dressed like every over delivery person that has come around, the woman definitely has come to deliver a package. Shikamaru realizes he has seen the woman before, but he can’t quite place when. It is when he sees the tag in her shirt that it clicks. _Hyuga Hinata._

Of course he has seen her before, that’s Neji’s cousin.

“Hinata?” Shikamaru asks, confusion sweeping into his tone, and he hears someone fall and break from behind the door in front of them. The girl replies with a meager smile and a muttered _Hello, Shikamaru._ “Last I saw you, you were doing missions for the Agency under Kurenai…” He scratches the top of his head with a finger and takes a second to blink. “You were even doing solo missions with Neji, weren’t you?”

The girl nods, and lets the package, which is not big, onto the floor. Hinata then cracks her knuckles and nods at Shikamaru. “Yeah, I was.” Shikamaru hears steps from his neighbors– _Naruto’s_ –apartment and a string of muttered curses, which he pays no mind to. Hinata’s back straightens, as if giving a mission report, and continues, “Team Kurenai was on a mission and Tsunade-sama, who was our supervisor, was not… happy with the results. She saddled us with Anko and Kushina on the Amazon Japan delivery service for the time being, maybe up until the end of the next month on top of normal back-to-back missions.”

Shikamaru hums. “That explains the Inuzuka and the Aburame passing by to deliver for Amazon. I knew I’ve seen them around before.” He realizes that this all ties up, and lifts up his hand to rub his eyes. “This is too troublesome, Hyuga.”

Hinata laughs, and reaches up to get the package again. “Kiba and Shino have been around? Anko separated us, but Kurenai has been rotating between us.”

“There was also this other man too... Lee?” Shikamaru says, and then winces at the reminder of the skin-tight green jumpsuit.

“Lee?” Hinata asks, “Like, Rock Lee?” Shikamaru nods, and Hinata too winces. “Yeah, both Lee and Gai volunteer on the Amazon delivery service when they’re free and aren’t training. Customer reviews are always.. Interesting to read, certainly. But anyways, here’s your package.” She hands Shikamaru the box, and even with his hardened core, Shikamaru can’t say no to Hinata’s sweet smile, and so he takes it. Hinata definitely has a hand over everyone in the Agency with that sweet smile and killer figure, but Shikamaru knows she’s not the shy girl everyone paints her to be. She can kill a man with her bare hands, and once beat Neji on a spar that left him with a fractured wrist for a month and a half.

“D’you know what’s in the package?” Shikamaru asks after signing the virtual contract.

The woman raises an eyebrow, her lilac eyes narrowing. “No. Don’t _you_ know what you ordered, Nara-san?” Shikamaru is too tired to explain the misery of life he lives, so he settles for a shrug, which only makes Hinata sigh. “I don’t check what people order anymore.. First time I did it was a dildo and it was ordered by someone I already knew. Really changed my perspective of life.”

“Well, I wouldn’t even want to know—“

“It’s someone you know too, it’s so gross… It was also so weird…” Hinata muses, And Shikamaru gestures her to stop. She, of course, continues. “Terrible, terrible experience for me,” she gives him the sweetest of smiles, and Shikamaru groans. 

“I’m not going around this one. Who was it?”

Hinata gives him the widest of smiles, and it even blinds him for a second. “Oh, it was this guy, y’know him.” She hands Shikamaru the package, and twirls a strand of her long black ponytail between her fingers. “So I have this dildo in a box, and suddenly, boom! Uchiha Shisui, Shisui of the Body Flicker, opens the door.”

“Thanks, Hyuga. I don’t want to know about any more Uchiha endeavors.”

Hinata giggles, and other stepping noises come from Naruto’s door. The blonde had said it was his pet fox, but it’s obvious that Naruto’s spying on them. Wait, why would he be spying on them?

A thought comes to mind. 

Shikamaru counts to ten, and then takes a deep breath. “Hinata, weren’t you dating the mayor’s son?” 

The woman in question cocks her head to the side. “Yeah, a while ago. But I broke up with him when he went with Jiraiya to Iwa.”

“It’s Naruto, right?” Hinata nods, and Shikamaru mutters a curse. _Of course_ it’s Naruto. There’s another crash from Naruto’s door—the dumbass. Everything’s fitting into the puzzle that is his situation. “Well, I’m gonna take a nap. This was a pleasure.”

“You too. I’m gonna ask Neji for your number so we can catch up.” Hinata calls, already turning to go. There’s a bag on her back now, so Shikamaru supposes she has to continue her rounds. “See you around!”

Shikamaru shrugs and raises a hand. “Yeah.”

He turns around, box in his hand, and closes the door with a loud thud. He’s gonna have to have words with Naruto, but he has to gather more information first. 

The coffee cup is still on the counter, but it is now cold. That’s a true tragedy, but there’s nothing to do other than reheat. Thank god his mother got him a microwave. Out of sheer curiosity, Shikamaru decides to open the box. Just this once, he doesn’t leave it on the hallway. If Naruto wants the package, he can come and get it. 

Shikamaru stands up to get the scissors from the second cabinet, then opens the package. Inside, there is a… plaque? It is silver with a wooden case, and there’s a string of hiragana engraved in the cool metal. At a closer look, Shikamaru reads _Diver by NICO touches the wall,_ and then follows the lyrics to the song. 

The man shrugs, he can keep this, at least it’s a bop 

* * *

“Naruto, you’re so fucking stupid!” Sakura groans, falling dramatically onto the tattered sofa. She tugs a pink strand of hair in frustration. “You still haven’t told him?”

Naruto slumps his shoulders and looks away from his friend. All of Team 7 is all gathered in his cozy ( _quaint_ Sasuke had said, looking distastefully at the tattered walls) apartment. Sakura is now on his sofa, but Sasuke sits on the kitchen counter and Sai is, for whatever reason, sitting on top of the electric kitchen with Kurama on his lap. They normally gather on Ichiraku ramen, but today is Ayame’s birthday so they closed for the day. So now they’re gathered at Naruto’s place, which was the closest from where they had confirmed their late rendezvous. 

“I don’t have his number!” Naruto throws his hands up in frustration. “How could I contact him?”

“You’re literally useless,” Sasuke sneers, curling his lip. “Shikamaru’s your neighbor, you fucking ass. Just knock on his door!”

The blonde mutters and lets out an exasperated sigh. “It’s not that easy!”

Sakura stands up and looks at him, making eye contact. She then narrows her eyes and huffs. “Yes it is, you’re just scared ‘cause he’s hot and you just don’t want Hinata and Kiba knowing you order weird shit from Amazon.” Just proving her point, Sakura points to the skin tight green jumpsuit that just draped on a chair besides Sai. “Literally, how did you ever _think_ of buying that? It’s hideous and you know Gai gives them away for free.”

Sai, who has Kurama on his lap, strokes the top of the fox’s head. “I think it’s very tubural, dude.” he says, tone bland and steadingly holding Naruto’s gaze. It’s been almost ten years since they’ve known each other, and Sai still has problems expressing his emotions properly. Ino says it’s part of his charm, but even Sasuke knows that Ino once proposed marriage to him so they could evade taxes together and he said _yes_ , so who even knows anymore. “Did I use those wrong?”

Naruto narrows his eyes and Sakura sighs. Sasuke just shrugs. “I don’t think so. If you’re speaking to a Western American surfer maybe he’d understand.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Sakura says, turning over to the tea pot and serving herself a cup. “Back to the topic at hand… Naruto, I do think you need to tell Shikamaru you’re using his address for Amazon just because the people saddled with the delivery for the foreseeable future are two of your exes.”

“I’m your ex and you aren’t avoiding me,” Sasuke points out, raising one eyebrow. He pops a grape into his mouth. “I think that’s very sexy of you.”

“Naruto and I have engaged in sex, several times.” All three of them turn their eyes towards Sai, who tilts his head. “What does that make me?”

The blonde has the audacity to blush. Sakura sips her cup, crinkling her nose. “Thank gods I haven’t gone near your dick.” She declares, gripping the cup until her knuckles turn white. “Gods help me, I'm already in this mess you call an apartment.” 

“I do take back what I said years ago.” Sai says with a smile on his lips. “It’s very big.”

“He does give the best head,” Sasuke contributes, but Sakura shakes her head. 

“Hinata’s the best at eating out. I think she’d be even better than Naruto at giving head.”

“When did you have sex with Hinata?” Sasuke asks, serving himself a cup of tea from the pot.

Sakura shrugs. “Ah, last year. We were extremely drunk.” 

“Can we please stop talking about my dick, or sex in general!” Naruto snaps, crossing his arms. He huffs just as Sasuke quietly chuckles at his perils. Sai just shrugs and continues petting Kurama. “Shikamaru’s the issue here! How do I tell him I’m mooching off his address for my Amazon orders? How about I don’t tell him at all?!”

“Tch, that’s pathetic.” Sasuke says as he stomps down from the kitchen counter and takes Kurama from Sai’s lap. The Uchiha doesn’t like the fox much but they have a love-hate relationship, and even he admits stroking the fox’s head is therapeutic. “Plus, he’s a Nara. His father is literally the Head of Strategy at the Agency, and they say the Nara’s IQ or whatever is hereditary. I wouldn’t discount the Nara already knowing you’re the one sending the packages.”

Sakura hums into her cup. “Ah, I didn’t count on that. Shika’s very intelligent, he’s probably already figured you’re the one sending the packages.”

“Maybe that’d explain why he kept today’s package.” Naruto continues with that thread of thought. “This way I wouldn’t have to tell him!”

Sakura facepalms. “We’re gonna be here all day, aren’t we?” 

The Uchiha shrugs. “Not me, I’m going out with Neji tonight. We’re trying out this new ice cream–”

“Stop right there,” Naruto orders, and Sasuke does just after he pops another grape into his mouth. Where did the grapes even come from? Naruto doesn’t remember buying any. “I don’t want to know what you’re doing with Neji anymore, Sasuke.”

Sasuke rubs his hands together and chuckles. “Your loss.”

* * *

Shikamaru has a good start of the week. It actually goes well and without a hitch, which should have been an obvious foreshadowing of the second half of the week. 

On Monday he went to class and actually got a job as Assistant Director for the Intelligence Division of the Agency. It was even fully paid, so Shikamaru was giddy with happiness and treated himself with a good pack of cigs and a five-hour long nap. On Tuesday, after class, he met up with his parents and ate dinner with the complete Ino-Shika-Cho group. It was, overall, a great two days.

Then, on Wednesday evening, the doorbell rings.

Shikamaru, who’s lying on his couch in a perfect position so he can watch the clouds from his comfortable place, groans in displeasure. Maybe if he just ignores it this once, the delivery people will go away. The man presses his lips together and closes his eyes, waiting in place.

The doorbell rings again.

“Fucking–” Shikamaru mutters, sitting up and quickly putting his hair up in a messy ponytail. He stretches and stands up slowly. The doorbell rings another time. “I’m coming!” Shikamaru calls out, hoping the person outside will stop ringing the doorbell. He does have a bit of a headache and he doesn’t want it to get worse. Before opening the door, Shikamaru rubs his eyes, hoping there’s someone calm outside, but he can hear heavy footsteps outside, so that dream is just a musing of the past.

The man sighs, he has no other option other than to open the door, so that is what he does. 

He immediately regrets it. When _two_ green skin tight jumpsuits come in sight, he closes the door with a loud thump and stars counting to calm down. Literally fuck Naruto, this wouldn’t happen if he hadn’t gotten him into this mess. When he gets to thirteen, already ignoring two more doorbell rings and a call for _Nara-san’s most youthful presence!_ , Shikamaru opens the door again.

Hinata had told him about Lee _and_ Gai both volunteering for the delivery service with a wince, and this was definitely what she saw when she mentioned them. Shikamaru holds a deep compassion for her experiences, and simultaneously understands now.

Shikamaru didn’t know the Agency was into _cloning._ The two guys in front of him have the same haircut–a black bowl cut that looks like a greased wig. They are also dressed the same, a deep forest green skin tight jumpsuit, orange leg warmers, and the Amazon Japan delivery service uniform on top. The older one holds the package, and is looking at Shikamaru with a steady gaze. “If it isn’t Nara-san and his most youthful face! Good morning!”

“Yes,” Shikamaru guffawks, “A.. very good morning indeed.”

Before Lee can start with another speech like the one he had first declared when he came around, Shikamaru continues. “I have a package, right?”

Black hair covers his entire panorama as Lee leans forward and nods earnestly. “Exactly, Nara-san! Another package delivered to our most youthful customer! With this you shall endeavor to the lands of youthfulness and live your best life with Amazon Japan!” Even Shikamaru can see how the sun suddenly reflects on the man’s eyes, but there’s nothing he can do about it, so he just raises each of his index fingers to the sides of his head and rubs them into the tense muscle and tension points.

“What beautiful words you’ve said, Lee! Incredibly youthful of you!” The older man states, and Shikamaru sighs. 

“Tha package,” Shikamaru reminds the men, and both of them giddily jump over to him again. 

“Of course!” Gai says, handing him the pen so he can sign the digital contract. Then he hands him the package. Shikamaru notes the box is not heavy at all, and is not even that big. Maybe he’s going to be finally free of the packages, since each time they’re coming in smaller and smaller. 

Or maybe not.

He hears no shuffling or muffled noises from behind Naruto’s door. Shikamaru narrows his eyes, maybe Naruto’s out for the day, or maybe he’s taken cover when he heard the duo. There’s an equal chance for both options, so Shikamaru will not be hasty now. If Naruto’s the Namikaze’s son and heir, then he should have many responsibilities, he apparently even went with Jiraiya to Iwa. Wait–

Naruto _went_ with _Jiraiya_ to Iwa. _Jiraiya_. That little scum of a man. He already knew and manipulated Shikamaru so he’d go to Tsunade and get an appointment. That bastard.

Shikamaru’s wallowing in the thoughts on his head, but he realizes nothing in this situation merits his anger, so he counts. After six, he takes a breath and slumps his shoulders, his eyes now coming to focus. His head shoots up when he hears Gai talking.

“–youth of this all! Kakashi told me about you, you youthful man, and now I can see what intelligence he was talking about when he described you! ( _Kakashi?_ Shikamaru thinks, _What would he want with me?_ ) Lee told me lots about you too, and we can never forget Neji! Tenten didn’t say anything about you, but I’m sure that’s just because you two don’t know each other! It’s so youthful of you to use Amazon Japan on this wonderful time of the day and month and year, it is always good to contribute to your own company every once in a while! Nara-san, you should also volunteer for the delivery service!”

“Ah,” Shikamaru’s eyes widen. He rubs the back of the neck and winces at the thought of ever doing that. “No thanks, I have… other things to do.”

“Our most youthful buyer has to gain his money so he can continue buying from Amazon Japan!” Lee exclaims, pumping a fist in the air.

“Of course,” Shikamaru says, hoping that ending the conversation will drive them away. After all, he wants to go back to cloud watch. The sky is exceptionally beautiful today. “Thank you for passing by or whatever.” he drawls, turning around and closing the door behind him. He can hear both Lee and Gai high-five behind him and then an exclamation of _youth!_

Well, now Shikamaru has another package to check out.

The box flops against the counter as Shikamaru hazardly throws it without care. The scissors from last time are still over the counter too, so he opens it quickly and forces it open. Inside, there is a plastic bag, with instructions Shikamaru cares not to read. He rips that up and inside there is a little costume and a little blonde wig.. All of which reminds the Nara of that one western actress… Marilyn Monroe? Yes, that one. 

_Why would Naruto want this?_ Shikamaru muses, grabs the plastic bag and reads out the tag, “Pup-a-Razzi Silver Screen Starlet Pup Costume, huh.” The Nara laughs, “Well If Kurama is to wear this, Naruto has to come by eventually and finish this whole mail fiasco.” 

Shikamaru shrugs. “I’ll give him time, I guess.” 

Now, back to cloud watching. 

* * *

Against his will, Shikamaru organizes the two boxes he has right beside the entrance of the apartment just so they don’t clutter the place. He looks at them up and down, and then just leaves them by Naruto’s door. If he wants them, he can have them. Shikamaru doesn’t want the packages in his apartment anymore.

The Nara is supposed to be meeting with Ino, Sakura, and Neji today for their weekly Thursday lunch, but considering he skipped class today, he’s still wearing his pajamas and is definitely too tired to go out. Shikamaru has to go out even if he doesn’t want to, because if he doesn’t, Ino will definitely come bursting in and drag him outside. So, it’s not as if he has a choice. Ino’s always adamant for him to go out. Something about being a friendless hermit, but Shikamaru knows he could never not be friends with both Ino and Choji. 

Eyes turn to the door, as if he could see through to Naruto’s door. Shikamaru wonders if Naruto will ever have the balls to tell him about this one-sided arrangement, but resolutely, he will not do anything until prompted.

Shikamaru is lazy like that. 

Between wonders and trains of thought, his door bursts open and in comes Ino, as if ready to spit fire from every part of her body. 

She turns to the man and fixes him a deadly glare. The Nara knows that if she were to actually mean it, she could kill him with just her eyes. Thank god he _knows_ he has not done anything to make her mad, so his best bet is with Sakura, or maybe Sai. 

“What’s up?” Shikamaru mutters nonchalantly, fingers masterfully turning the spoon that stirs his tea. 

He wonders where Choji is. Ino and Choji usually invade his home in tandem, obviously led by the Yamanaka most of the time. That one time Choji stormed by his own inside the place is not a memory Shikamaru is overly fond of. 

Ino throws her arms up, clearly frustrated, and screeches, “It’s Tsunade!” Shikamaru had discounted that option. Normally Ino doesn’t care about Tsunade. The Nara would know, seen as they worked under her tutelage for more than a year. “She’s going on a mission trip to Kumo!”

Shikamaru raises his brow, confused with past given information and the one now given to him. “I thought Jiraiya was going to finish that by himself?” 

“No!” Ino exclaims before Shikamaru can even finish talking. Maybe that’s what Jiraiya’s meeting with Tsunade was for. The Nara wonders why that would be so bad, and states that as calmly as he is able to see if his demeanor will diffuse Ino’s temper. “She’s taking me and Sakura to that fucking ass cold place! Normally she just takes Shizune and leaves us both in charge, but she tends to just go alone on missions and diplomatic trips so Shizune can be in charge. But she’s taking us both and yesterday Sakura made me tear my hair out from both her extreme obnoxiousness over strict work and my pent up sexual frustration! I literally cannot be with her in such a confined space for months-“

“Then step out,” Shikamaru interrupts, taking a sip of his tea. “She’ll just take Sakura and she’ll learn the ropes of diplomatic missions while you stay here attending surgery and making rounds. You’re going to learn less but it’s going to be a few weeks—maybe months—of calm and bliss. Your pick.”

Ino’s gaze is transfixed on him, but the Nara merely ignores it. The blonde is just being obnoxious time and time again, not that Shikamaru will say so out loud. 

It is a full minute later of silence that Ino speaks again. “Shika, gimme a cup of tea.” She demands, clearly used to ordering those close to her around. Shikamaru obliges, if not only for Ino, then also to be what could be considered a “good host.” 

“Of course. Can you take my pack out of my bag? It’s next to the sofa.” The Nara says, pointing at the coffee table placed where he explained. Shikamaru has a “No Smoking” policy for himself in his apartment, mainly because his mother complained so much at first and Choji doesn’t like the smoke, but he feels like smoking right now. Ino takes both the pack and the lighter, taking one cigarette for herself and then passing one to Shikamaru. 

The boy raises an eyebrow at Ino, but she shrugs and comments, “Felt like it. I haven’t smoked in so long and it _does_ calm my nerves.”

“Fair.” says Shikamaru, taking a drag. “I thought you’d be all iffy now, given the medical consequences.” Ino shrugs half-heartedly, exhaling the smoke in a calm breath. “Also, are we still meeting later with Sakura and Neji? I need to know if I have to change.”

Ino rolls her eyes. “Of course, dumbass. We’re going to KBBQ in an hour. What other reason would I have to come here?”

Shikamaru gives her a shit eating grin, which seems to be contagious, as Ino breaks into a grin herself after taking a drag, inhaling, and exhaling the smoke. “Because you love me?”

“As if!”

* * *

It is about thirty minutes later—Ino and Shikamaru had stayed in his kitchen chatting and smoking, which reminds him he needed to take out a new pack—when Shikamaru cuts their conversation short. 

“I should change if we want to make it there in time,” Shikamaru points out, and Ino nods in response. “Give me five minutes.”

Ino huffs. “Take ten and maybe look presentable. Naruto’s passing by later.”

“Naruto’s _what_?”

“Yeah, I know,” Ino mumbles, taking out the last of her current cig, “Sakura has Sai and Naruto on her because of a team meeting or whatever. Sasuke would’ve come by too but he has a clan meeting or some shit like that. Y’know the Uchiha.” Ino gestures vaguely, and Shikamaru nods, as he knows the Uchiha and what they’re often up to, especially considering he knows Sasuke, Itachi, and Shisui. “So they’re passing by. Neji said something about having his team passing by too, but we don’t really have that problem. Maybe we can tell Choji to pass by. That is, obviously, if you don’t have a team you haven’t told Choji and I about.” 

Shikamaru blinks, and slowly puts a hand onto his chest as if offended. “I would never cheat on you, Ino. We are made for one another. Don’t forget our wedding next spring on the coast of Bali, where our twenty two children will throw flowers as we run towards the sunset.” he says drily, looking at Ino directly in the eye. As Ino bursts out laughing, Shikamaru continues, “Of course, that is before Sakura inevitably murders me in cold blood a month into the nuptials and shit.”

“Pft, she would never just kill you. I would just have an affair on the side.” Ino offers, leaning forward and winking, for which the Nara rolls his eyes.

“So now you’re the cheater, huh,” Shikamaru counters, twisting his mouth in fake disbelief. “Who’d have thought?”

Ino laughs melodically. “You’re so naive, Shika. How’d you think all lesbians and bi ladies lived before you men and straight people thought it was appropriate for women to be together in public. Don’t you know about Uzumaki Mito?”

Rolling his eyes, Shikamaru takes another sip of his tea. “Yeah you’ve told me countless of times, you dumb blonde, ( _Excuse me?)_ ” He says as he puts the cup down and cracks his back and neck, which makes Ino cringe. “I’m going.”

“To do what?”

“To change, dumbass”

“Oh, Shikamaru. _You_ are the dumbass!”

* * *

When Shikamaru and Ino arrive at the restaurant, Sakura and Neji are already sitting on a table. They are both talking in low tones, oblivious of the Nara and the Yamanaka approaching.

“Hello, bitches!” Ino just _fucking_ screams towards the duo, who halt their gossip and jump in their seats. Shikamaru agrees, that was loud enough to scare someone. “Were you talking about us?”

Neji dismissed the blonde with a hand wave, “Of course we were, because you two are _super_ entertaining,” he drawls.

Ino huffs, crossing her arms over her stomach. “Now you’re just being an asshole.” 

“Did Ino tell you?” Sakura asks the Nara, ignoring their two other companions. The smell of friture hits Shikamaru’s nose, and he bites down a cough. He nods at the woman in question, and sits down next to her, narrowly avoiding colliding with a rushing waiter. The place seems to be quite busy for the time and date, and with the incoming companions, Shikamaru doesn’t doubt the next two hours are going to be quite hectic for the staff. Ino sits next to Neji, the both of them moving past their little squabble and, since the woman is gesturing wildly, Shikamaru assumes they’ve moved either onto gossip or Ino is complaining about work. 

Gesturing for the waiter, Shikamaru shrugs. “Ino told me about the influx of people coming here today.” he comments offhandedly, and sets his phone on the table. The waiter nears, and he asks for a round of beer. He then adds, “She also told me about Kumo, if that’s what you mean,”

Sakura rubs the back of her neck, which is definitely weird. “No, I mean. Did Ino tell you about Naruto?”

Shikamaru narrows his eyes, and beside them Neji and Ino stop talking to look at them. “What about Naruto?” he asks, kind of already knowing the answer. He didn’t know Sakura had told Ino, but maybe everyone already knew. It was kind of obvious, it was weird no one from the delivery service had noticed Naruto had been the one ordering the packages. Actually, maybe they already knew, considering Hinata worked then and Neji knew of the situation.

The duo laughs nervously, but Sakura just sighs. “Naruto is your front door neighbor, and the package problem Ino told me about has been Naruto using your address to hide from his exes that work in the delivery service,” the woman explains, looking ashamed. The waiter chooses that moment to approach and serve them their beers. Shikamaru wonders why Sakura even looks ashamed, it’s not her fault Naruto’s hiding and he’s too lazy to confront him.

Well, and he’s not going to admit that a bit of random situations liven up his dull life.

The man takes a sip of his beer, and his three companions look at him expectantly. He takes a moment to close his eyes and savor the beer, drinks it, and exhales. “I already knew that, it’s fairly obvious,” he shrugs, taking another sip. 

Ino comically facepalms, Neji rolls his eyes, and Sakura grumbles exasperatedly. “Of course you already did. I should have known…” she says with dismay. “Why haven’t you said anything?”

“It’s too much work to confront Naruto about it,” he says, looking over the menu even if not that hungry, just to avoid Sakura’s and Ino’s (and maybe Neji’s) all-knowing eyes. “I’ve just been leaving them outside for him to pick up later.”

“Hinata told me about the situation, so I think she’s onto Naruto too,” Neji says, mulling over the whole situation, and also confirming Shikamaru’s theory. “She told me you treated her well too, so that’s good,” Shikamaru nods, but makes no comment. 

“Shikamaru, you’re the most infuriating man in existence,” Ino concludes, now also looking at her menu. She shakes her head, then turns to the other woman. “Do you know when the other people are coming over?”

“Yes, actually,” Sakura says, taking out her phone. She looks over her messages, and her eyes widen. “Neji, Ten Ten just texted me saying she’s coming with Lee and her _girlfriend,_ and that they’re almost arriving with Naruto and Sai,” she looks between Shikamaru and Neji, and he wonders if he’s got a reason to worry when the other man mutters a curse and they all turn to Shikamaru once again. Sakura’s the one to take one for the team, and says, “Temari’s coming,”

His eyes widen, but Shikamaru quickly schools his features. “Oh,” he says, a bit dumbly, “I didn’t know she was here in Konoha?”

Ino winces, “Fuck! That’s what I forgot to tell you,” she rushes, but Shikamaru places a hand on her shoulder, hoping to calm her down. “She’s been here for a little over two weeks, visiting Ten Ten. They’ve been together for about four months, so not much. If you don’t want to stay here, we don’t have to,” she adds quickly in the end.

“Nah, don’t worry,” Shikamaru says, “We broke up a while ago, and I have no feelings for her anymore. I think we’re good.” The door of the restaurant opens, and Shikamaru knows they’re companions have arrived solely over Naruto’s and… _Lee’s_ screaming. Oh yeah, no way he’s not going to have a fucked up time. By this point, Shikamaru just hopes he gets home in one piece.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Shikamaru,” Shikamaru hears Temari shuffling behind him, and he sighs. Turning around he catches a glimpse of Temari, but also Naruto, whose eyes widen when he sees him. If Shikamaru is to be trusted, he could even say that Naruto has the eyes of someone who is about to run away. Lee immediately runs towards Neji, basically jumping him.

“Temari,” he drawls, “I haven’t seen you in a while. How are you?”

The woman smiles sweetly at him, all false, but then it genuinely turns into a real smile. “I’ve been doing great, actually!” And with that, the tension in the air dissipates. 

Shikamaru doesn’t relax though, as he senses Lee bouncing over to him. “Shikamaru! What an amazing treat to see you during your leisure time! It is nothing but a great pleasure!” he practically screams, and Shikamaru has to hide his wince. He needs to get out of here ASAP, but he did promise Ino he would be here, at least for a while. When he finishes his beer, he is going to be absolutely out for the count. He doesn’t want to be in an environment with Lee, Naruto, and Temari on top of that.

The others find a way for the huge group to sit in such a tiny space, and Shikamaru ends up staying for two more beer rounds than he had hoped. At one point or the other, he ends up sitting besides Naruto, who is trying extremely hard to ignore him, rambling at an innocent Sai, who just smiles and nods. Shikamaru _knows_ he’s being ignored, mainly because Naruto keeps stealing glances at him, as if he isn’t going to notice it. He’s pretty sure even Lee has noticed.

His fun time seems to have run his course, and Shikamaru just stands up, and tells Ino to send him his tab next time he sees him. The woman rolls her eyes from Sakura’s lap, and Shikamaru hasn’t even noticed how close they were, as Ino is literally now sitting on Sakura’s lap. The rest just tell him the normal goodbyes. “I’m going home,” he slouches his shoulders, giving Ino a significant look. _Don’t mess anything up when I leave._

Surprisingly, Naruto stands up too. “I have to go too!” Sai gives him a wink, and Shikamaru feels inexplicably dirty at the implication. Does everyone know they’re neighbors?

Eh, he’s not going to stew on it much.

Shikamaru groans just for the show, and turns to leave. He doesn’t wait or even cue Naruto to move with him, but the blonde bounces besides him regardless. The Nara absolutely hates confrontation, but something about seeing Temari, and then learning that Lee and even Hinata know about Naruto, and Naruto’s presence overall opens a dam inside of him.

“Why are you sending your stuff to my apartment?” Shikamaru asks, just two blocks before they reach their apartments. “Under a ridiculous username, on top of it!”

Naruto absolutely stops in his tracks, eyes widening comically. “I, uh, I haven’t done anything!” he exclaims, very unconvincingly. Shikamaru stops too, and just raises an eyebrow.

“Really,” he says monotonously, “You haven't been sending packages to my apartment? Then who’s keeping them?”

“Uh,” Naruto looks dumbly at Shikamaru, and the brunette just facepalms. He could use a cigarette then, but decides against it, for Naruto’s sake. 

Then, he immediately takes out a cigarette from his pack, because Naruto has been using him as a mailbox, and he deserves a way to de-stress. He lights the tip, and inhales the smoke. It fills his lungs and rids his brain of all thought momentarily, and then he exhales, smokes billowing out. Shikamaru remembers Naruto is with him, and turns to see the blonde, looking at him with a weird expression. The Nara lifts an eyebrow, looking directly at Naruto’s eyes as he exhales another bouth of smoke, keeping it in his lungs, and exhales. Naruto then flushes, and looks elsewhere desperately. 

“What?” Shikamaru resumes their walk. They’re very close to the apartment building, but if they don’t move, they might reach it in a week. 

“Nothing!” Naruto exclaims, obnoxiously ignoring the Nara. He’s midway through his smoke, now just a block away, when Naruto stops walking.

He turns to look at Shikamaru, the weird flushed expression from before once again on his face. “Can I, uh, can I try that?” he says, pointing at the cigarette. Shikamaru muses at his hesitance for a second, the situation too funny for his brain at the moment, and laughs. 

“Have you ever smoked?”

“Yes, I have!” he says indignantly, as if smoking is something _everyone_ has and should do. Shikamaru decidedly disagrees, mainly because Ino can almost read minds and she will kill him if he doesn’t at least acknowledge that smoking causes cancer. Shikamaru, however, wants to see how the situation escalates, and gives Naruto the cigarette, the tips of their fingers touching in the exchange, which makes the Nara shiver. Naruto looks between Shikamaru and the stick, and almost puts the lit part of the cigarette inside of his mouth. Thankfully, Shikamaru is there, and points it out.

“Hehe, of course I knew that,” Naruto confides, obviously lying, “I was just keeping you on your toes!” He then sticks the right side inside of his mouth, inhales so sharply Shikamaru’s eyes widen in concern, and promptly chokes on the smoke. 

“You’ve got to do it slowly,” Shikamaru says, chuckling at the blonde’s failed show of superiority, or whatever that was. “Like this,” he says, and takes the stick from Naruto’s hands, inhales, and as quick, exhales all the smoke in Naruto’s face.

“Hey!” Naruto waves the smoke away, but he’s now laughing, and all tension that had been before lightens, “You suck!”

* * *

On Monday, Shikamaru assumes a package will arrive.

_Goddammit,_ he thinks as he makes himself a cup of coffee, _Naruto’s got me used to this shit._

The doorbell inevitably rings, and Shikamaru’s not dressed enough to open the door, considering it’s nine in the morning. He quickly grabs his green bathroom robe that he has only because his mother bought it for him, some crocs, and ties his hair in a bun. He still grabs his cup of coffee, and works to look as tired and disinterested as he normally does as he walks towards the door. He can hear Naruto shuffling behind his door, which makes Shikamaru roll his eyes.

The brunette opens the door, only to be met with Kurenai, Kiba, and Kiba’s dog. If Shikamaru is counting right (and he is) this would be package number eight, which is definitely eight too many. 

“Shikamaru!” Kurenai exclaims, and he hasn’t seen her since she was very much pregnant and screaming at Asuma. Shikamaru was very traumatized by pregnant Kurenai. “It’s been such a long time!”

He laughs, but even he knows it sounds a bit rehearsed. “Kurenai,” he says lightly, “I didn’t know you were working for Amazon Japan.”

Kiba smiles at him, no light behind his eyes, “We’re being exploited.”

Shikamaru rolls his eyes. They obviously are, what did they think would happen, working for Amazon? “The package,” he reminds the duo, and the dog, _Akamaru_ , barks. He nudges the package with his nose, and Shikamaru notices that this one is kind of small. What could Naruto have even ordered?

Talking about the blonde, “Hinata told me something very interesting, and then I heard from Ino as well, that you’ve gotten the attention of a certain blonde.” Kiba adds an excessive wink at the end, as if the whole situation Shikamaru’s in is very funny to him.

“Is my life a joke to all of you?” Shikamaru groans into the coffee cup, “Just tell me where I can sign.” Kiba laughs at him, but Kurenai’s gaze could almost be understood for concern. In the end, she just hands him a tablet where he quickly signs, not even bothering to come up with something more original than a very quick scrawl of his name. 

The two, well _three_ , workers leave, and after the elevator dings and they are decidedly gone, Naruto opens his door silently. He would expect to grab the package quickly and be done with it, Shikamaru muses, but instead he finds a bathrobe clad and sleepy Shikamaru sipping a cup of coffee and leaning on his door frame.

“So,” he says with a smirk, taking another sip. He watches as Naruto blushes such a deep red he wouldn’t have thought possible, “you're not the one sending the packages, huh?”

* * *

He lets his neighbor take the package, which had turned out to be an ‘inflatable party sheep’, and just continues with his daily life. 

They don’t really speak much after that. Their schedules are not compatible, or at least Shikamaru assumes so, considering he only hears Naruto bolster around his apartment either during the early morning or very deep into the night. For that reason, he does absolutely everything he can to take Naruto off his mind. He has been spending a suspicious amount of time in his thoughts, suspicious even for Shikamaru, who always overthinks everything and everyone.

That is also why, on Wednesday, he is surprised to see Naruto walking in Tsunade’s office, walking behind the mayor and a very beautiful and intimidating redhead. Shikamaru assumes these are Naruto’s parents, particularly because he already knows about them, his father working with them closely and all that. Shikamaru had been waiting for Ino so they could hang out for a while, but then he also sees Jiraiya arguing with Tsunade, who looks a bit drunk. Hell, they both look a bit drunk, or _way_ too drunk, considering it is three p.m. 

From afar, he can see Sakura running towards Naruto, and hitting him in the shoulder. Shikamaru knows about her strength, so it is of no surprise when Naruto literally plummets to the ground, but he is surprised that he doesn’t pass out. The blonde lands very near Shikamaru’s feet, and he smiles, looming over the blonde. He stuff his hands in his pockets, and slouches more just so his face is directly over Naruto’s.

“Hello,” he grins, “Nice meeting you here.”

Naruto turns red immediately, and Shikamaru wonders why this is a common occurrence. Then, he realizes that everyone is looking at them, and he can feel his own cheeks getting hot. 

The redhead–Kushina, if Shikamaru is correct–looks between them knowingly, and Shikamaru wonders what there is to know. Sakura has the decency to look a bit embarrassed, but is talking hushedly with Tsunade, who glares at Jiraiya still. The man in question laughs boisterously, clapping a hand over Minato’s shoulder, who laughs. 

“I didn’t know you two already knew each other,” Jiraiya exclaims, and _right._ Jiraiya knows about the whole package problem.

“We’re friends,” they both say simply and at the same time. It makes them both look at each other, eyes wide, and Naruto blushes again.

_Oh._

Shikamaru really needs to get out of here, this is the worst place and worst company to have any revelations with. He sees Ino from a distance, closing a sliding door about four meters away from them, and immediately moves to her side. 

“Wow, Shika, I’ve never seen you move that fast,” she notes the other people in the room, eyes brightening as her gaze falls onto her girlfriend, official relationship freshly announced. She then shakes her head and turns back to Shikamaru. Ino looks at him up and down, from his incredibly still feet to his uncomfortable expression, and just states, “Oh, let’s get you out of here.”

The other people in the room make several noises of disagreement when they hear the duo is leaving, mostly from Jiraiya and Kushina. Naruto is surprisingly silent, just looking at Shikamaru with wide eyes still. Ino exclaims about one thing or another, and hounds Shikamaru out of the building.

* * *

On Friday, without Shikamaru’s (or Naruto’s) knowledge, Sakura and Ino meet with Kiba, Shino, and Hinata. Akamaru lounges on top of Kiba, as if he was the dog’s personal sofa, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

Sakura clears her throat and looks over the room. “Okay, so we’re all aware about the Shikamaru-Naruto situation, correct?”

“The mailing thing, the neighbor thing, or the pining?” Hinata asks, looking up from her green tea. “Wait, is it all three?”

“Good we’re on the same page,” Ino nods, as Sakura exhales sharply in exasperation. “Men are so stupid.” At this, both Sakura and Hinata nod in response, but Kiba exclaims in disagreement.

“What? No, we aren’t!”

Hinata fixes him a stare, and he immediately shuts up. From his seat, Shino chuckles, and pats Kiba’s knee, who frowns. “I suppose Shikamaru knows that we all know, but I’m sure Naruto still thinks at least that Kiba and I don’t know he is here again, even after he made so much recognizable ruckus when we were delivering the packages,” Hinata muses, “Doesn’t he know how fast gossip travels between our circles, either way?”  
  


“You’re the one that dated him, but no,” Sakura sighs, ( _You’ve been friends for ten years,_ Hinata reminds her) “He gets all his gossip from Sai, and doesn’t believe him ever after some information turned out to be just Sai messing with him. Naruto’s trusting, but not that much.” 

“Okay, so the move is to put them in many situations together until they either kiss or something, right?” Kiba suggests, looking at the ceiling while caressing Akamaru absentmindedly. “You could smash their heads together and everything.”

Ino looks pensive, and narrows her eyes. “Maybe we could do that, actually,” she says, and the rest of the group all turn to her, alarmed, “I meant the first suggestion! No head smashing for now.”

* * *

Around that same time, Shikamaru works at organizing Kakashi’s incredibly messy document archive. He normally works at more thrilling jobs than this around Tsunade’s office, but he pulled the intern card today because he just doesn’t want to work. The Nara isn’t even an intern by this point, but the papers still classify him as one. So, Shikamaru’s now doing the mind-numbing job of sorting through papers. He’s even doing so in front of a window, in the mood to cloud-watch for the morning.

Friday’s are slow on the administrative building, and they close earlier too, just because they can. Kakashi’s off somewhere, probably on the ceiling talking to Gai, who has been suspiciously visiting the diplomatic envoy way more than usual for almost a year now. That’s not any of Shikamaru’s business though, he just wants to archive the documents in peace. 

Any doubts of where Kakashi is are squashed when he hears Jiraiya screaming at something or another, and Kakashi answers him in his usual methodical monotonous tone. It used to be funny at first, but now Shikamaru just avoids talking shop with the Hatake. The Nara still avoids looking their way, and tries it even harder when he hears Naruto’s shrill scream of contempt at something offensive or ridiculous Jiraiya had just said. He casually slides down his seat, hoping he being backwards to them and sliding down the chair hides him enough.

It doesn’t.

Jiraiya and Kakashi do walk away, so he believes he’s safe from the trio he’s avoiding as the room behind him turns silent. It is eerie, but Shikamaru finds comfort in the absolute silence, even going as far as quieting his breath. The fax machine beeps, and he can sense the printer working from afar. After a minute, he relaxes, shoulder slumping, and then sighs, opening his eyes to see Naruto towering over him.

“Fucking shit, Naruto,” he kind of screams, jumping out of his skin, “Don’t sneak up on me! How did you even do that, what the fuck?”

Naruto smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “I just walked quietly! I thought you were just ignoring me!” he exclaims, voice now taking all the air space of the room. Huh, so Naruto’s voice is loud, but he himself is not. That’s information Shikamaru files for later. The blonde does look a bit ashamed, so Shikamaru figures he didn’t mean to scare him. He also decides that he has worked enough, and stuff the rest of the forms on top of the archive. Naruto moves a meter away, looking at him curiously, and Shikamaru stands up and turns to him.

“C’mon, I want coffee,” he says, and Naruto gives him a blinding grin. Shikamaru tentatively smiles back, “There’s a café downstairs. The coffee here at the office is atrocious,”

“Ha! Good to know!” Naruto says, and Shikamaru desperately hopes he doesn’t drink coffee. He’s already hyperactive enough for the both of them. 

They go downstairs, and thankfully the café is open and it has free space on the terrace. Shikamaru smiles at Genma, who mans the front of the coffee shop (as a part time job, Shikamaru knows Genma is also a poisons expert for his father), and sits down on one of the tables, Naruto following behind. He sags into the chair, drinking in the warmth of the sun. As Izumo goes to their table, Shikamaru takes out his tobacco and rolling paper. Naruto looks at him inquisitively. He takes their order, a plain black coffee (with sugar, he’s not a savage) and a milk and sugar monstrosity for Naruto.

“Is that weed?” he says, looking distrustfully at the bags, and Shikamaru snorts.

“No, I’m gonna roll a cig, it’s tobacco,” he says, mechanically taking out a filter and a piece of paper. He dampens one of the sides of it with his tongue, making the mistake of locking eyes with Naruto as he does, and raises an eyebrow at Naruto’s sudden blush. “You okay with me smoking? Sorry, I didn’t ask.”

Nurot nods fervently, and Shikamaru wonders how he has this amount of energy. Sometimes, Shikamaru can’t even get out of bed, and here is the blonde, always so enthusiastic and energetic about everything. Doesn’t he get tired? “It’s not weed,” he clarifies again, because Naruto is still looking distrustfully at the tobacco. “If I roll my own cigarettes, I tend to smoke less. It’s also way cheaper.”

“Huh,” Naruto mumbles, and then Izumo comes in with both of their coffees. “I didn’t know you worked under Kakashi.”

“I don’t,” he replies simply, “I'm interning under Tsunade for a while again, I was just assigned to Kakashi's office for the week. I still study in the afternoons, though. I tend to move around either way. I didn’t know _you_ worked under Jiraiya.”

“Yeah! I interned with my dad at first, but I think he grew tired of me making a mess of his place, so he sent me under Jiraiya, who then coincidentally had a diplomatic mission to Iwa and I left with him for about two years and a half, but it was amazing! I met so many people, and we even went to Suna to meet the Kazekage, who’s literally so young, he’s a very close friend now, y’know? Oh, his sister is here now, you know Temari, right? Well, that’s not the point, we came back after we finished a treaty of whatever, and we came back and I’m still working under Jiraiya, but my mom wanted to train me too in something else–Wait,” Naruto stops talking, now noticing Shikamaru’s wide eyes, “I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Shikamaru curses the fates, because they always make his life more difficult than he wants it to be. Naruto looks so carefree, the autumn winds brushing through his hair, and his blue eyes twinkle like the sun. Shikamaru stops himself there, because who is he, Ino? Ugh, he hates feelings. One of these days, he’s going to run to the forest and become a cave hermit and adopt five deer. He does note, however, that Naruto has been watering down the information masterfully so he actually doesn’t say anything about his time with Jiraiya, a testament of his time studying over the master spy for Konoha. “You were, but it’s okay,” he shrugs, putting the filter and rolling the cigarette shut. He takes out his lighter and puts the stick in his mouth. “You’re well travelled.”

“Yeah,” Naruto says, giving Shikamaru a genuine smile. He’s ashamed to admit it, but his heart flutters a bit. Shikamaru decides to ignore it with a big inhale of smoke, bumping the tip on the table’s ashtray. “I could recommend some travel sites for you!”

Yeah, Shikamaru’s fucked.

What a _drag._

* * *

When the doorbell rings at the unholy hour of seven in the morning on Tuesday, Shikamaru curses all the gods of every religion in existence. He had prepared for Monday, but he didn’t expect a package for today. Gods, he really needs to ask Naruto for a tracking app for himself, if he’s going to continue sending stuff to his apartment.

Shikamaru wakes up with a groan, and the doorbell rings again incessantly. He thankfully was sleeping with a t-shirt and boxers, looking almost respectable in comparison to any other day. He knows his hair is a mess, but at the moment, he decides that he doesn’t care. He lets out another groan when he opens the door and sees Jiraiya, of all people. The giant man is smiling almost evilly at Shikamaru, and if he were anyone else, or even awake, he would be a smidge scared. Jiraiya _does_ have a reputation after all. 

“Good morning!” The man booms, and Shikamaru swears he heard Naruto fall off his bed. Maybe it’s just his imagination. The man is grinning too widely, words carefully pronounced, as if they had some double meaning Shikamaru does not have the cypher to unlock. “I’ve got a package for you!”

“Yeah, yeah, old man,” Shikamaru mumbles, and then he wonders if Jiraiya even knows that Shikamaru already knows _and_ has confronted Naruto over the mailing thing. Shikamaru kind of hopes he doesn’t, just to make this whole current situation slightly less ridiculous. “Tell me where to sign, and let me sleep in peace.”  
  
Jiraiya, for once in his life, holds out the tablet helpfully so Shikamaru can scrawl his name. He does continue to taunt him, however. “Mystery sender boy, huh. Have you found out who he is?”

The Nara concludes that Jiraiya doesn’t know that Shikamaru already knows, and just shrugs. “Haven’t you? I did give you that audience with Tsunade almost two weeks ago, and for a spy master, you sure haven’t given me any information,” he drawls, eyes narrowing. He hears Naruto very loudly shuffling around his apartment, and both Jiraiya and Shikamaru tense for a second. “Sorry, my neighbor tends to be loud sometimes.”

“Have you ever complained to him?”

“No,” Shikamaru lies, “I’ve not even spoken to them. Do you know who they are? You seem to be referring to a man, but I’ve never seen my neighbor.”

“Really?” Jiraiya frowns, and Shikamaru hopes he hasn’t seen through him. He does have a very good poker face, according to Shikaku. The Nara then recalls that he has seen him and Naruto interact before, and just supposed they knew each other because of that. Which is true, and a very good conclusion, but he doesn’t want to give Jiraiya the satisfaction. “Huh, I never would’ve guessed.”

“Whatever,” he mumbles, and grabs the package, closing the door on Jiraiya’s face. He hears Jiraiya muttering something outside, but after five minutes, he leaves the apartment building. Shikamaru wasn’t definitely spying through the window to see him really gone. Really, he was just cloud watching. 

Against his own desire to avoid any packages after the weird one he had opened before, he takes a pair of scissors and opens the box, only to find a body pillow. Upon further inspection, he recognizes the woman in it as Namikaze’s wife, and groans into the heavens. He then decides he has had enough of this at this hour of the morning, and just stomps over Naruto’s door, knocking once. He hears the blonde running, and haphazardly open the door. He looks disheveled, and that’s a very good look on him, Shikamaru’s traitorous mind proposes.

“No more packages to my door, use your own apartment,” Shikamaru summarizes, avoiding Naruto’s eyes. Instead he looks directly behind him, where a bright orange fox runs around in a tiny dress. This morning has been so taxing on Shikamaru’s mind, that he swears it’s a mirage. He holds out the body pillow. “I can’t wake up at seven for this.”

Naruto has the decency to look ashamed. “I did have that one ordered for my own apartment, I just asked Jiraiya directly to deliver it to my door, but he must have misread it!”

“You… ordered a body pillow of your mother?”

“What? I miss her sometimes!” Naruto exclaims, opening his door fully, silently inviting Shikamaru in. “She gives great hugs when I have nightmares!”

Shikamaru doesn’t think twice about it. Naruto moves a bit, and he enters the place as if it were his own home, following the tiny fox into the living room, where a bunch of random objects are piled on a corner, almost as if it were a surrealist picture. He can recognize them as everything Naruto has ordered online, and turns to him, lifting an inquisitive eyebrow. “That's your fox?”

“Yes, he’s famous on Instagram!” Naruto replies, grabbing him from the floor. He screeches, but Shikamaru can sense it as an act of affection, almost. “His name is Kurama, and he's so old, but I love him.”

“I can see,” he drawls, eyes now focusing on the unholy amount of ramen packets in the living room. “How does he live in this dump?”

“Oh, no, he sleeps in my room, I can’t just let him sleep on the couch!” Naruto exclaims, embarrassed, and just continues rambling, which is bad for both Naruto and Shikamaru. Shikamaru dimly recognizes they’re both alone at Naruto’s apartment. “And I do clean up my room, I actually cleaned it _yesterday_! I can even show it to you if you want to confirm!” he exclaims obnoxiously, obviously talking without thinking.

Shikamaru’s mind screeches to a halt. He manages to blurt out a “No, thank you,” before looking at anything else other than Naruto. He’s definitely not going to think about Naruto showing him his bedroom, which is also probably a mess. The other man is clearly embarrassed too, mumbling something nondescript, also looking at anything but Shikamaru. The Nara decides that’s enough awkwardness for it to be seven thirty am, and sighs, slouching.

“Okay, I’m going to go,” he says, and Naruto turns to him sharply.

“Did I do anything wrong?” he asks tentatively, eyes vulnerable. There’s a sort of tension in between them, and Shikamaru’s unfortunate crush is making it all the worse for him. Naruto takes a step away from Shikamaru, and the man wonders what Naruto is even thinking. For as open as the blonde is, Shikamaru can’t seem to read him properly, as if he has a protective shield around him. 

_Shit._

_It’s way too early for this,_ Shikamaru thinks. “No, It’s way too early, and I still have about forty five minutes in which I can nap,” he yawns for good measure, and Naruto all but relaxes, “I’m too tired, and _someone_ keeps sending packages to my apartment.”

Naruto flushes, “I’m sorry! I swear I stopped doing that,” he cries, letting the fox down on the floor, “I started it because Sakura told me Kiba _and_ Hinata were both working at Amazon in this area, and I didn’t feel ready to see them then. What if they still hated me?”

“No one hates you, you dumbass,” Shikamaru sighs, “And you could’ve sent it somewhere else. The probabilities of them seeing you, considering you sent it to the door in front of yours, is too high. You know that, right?”  
  


The blonde scratches the back of his head, pensative. “Huh, I didn’t think of that.”

Shikamaru nods, “I know,” Shikamaru says, turning away. Naruto runs towards the door and opens it for his guest, who side-eyes him as he steps over the entrance. “I’ll see you later?”

“You know it!”

The Nara takes a very long step, and notices he hadn’t even closed his apartment door. He quickly closes it and plants his forehead on the nearest wall, groaning. What the fuck was that entire situation? Shikamaru really needs a nap.

* * *

“I don’t know what to do with Naruto,” Shikamaru grumbles exactly one week after going into the other man’s apartment.

The Ino-Shika-Cho team is out in Chouji’s family owned restaurant. The man himself is scarfing down a plate of beef udon, and Ino is looking over her perfectly manicured nails. Shikamaru’s forehead is glued to the table, defeated and energy less. He had been overthinking all their interactions, and for all of the Nara’s intelligence, he still can’t quite grasp romance. Even Temari had admitted once that he didn’t know how Shikamaru had even had relationships before her, and he cringes at the reminder. Ino takes one glance at him and takes pity on her friend. “Did he send you another thing again? I thought he had stopped,” she frowns.

Shikamaru props his head up, leaning his head on his palm. “Yeah, he did.”

“Oh!” Chouji looks up, a teasing smile on his face, “You like him, don’t you! You always turn into a mess when you like someone. I’d know!” Shikamaru supposes he would, considering he nursed a crush on Chouji for about two weeks five years ago.

“Oh, that’s it?” Ino says, a knowing look. Shikamaru grumbles in exasperation. “We already knew about that. I’m pretty sure he likes you too, you should just ask him out.” Chouji wholeheartedly agrees, but Shikamaru just groans again. “What are you, a caveman? Shika, use your words.”

“I don’t want to,” he complains, head now hidden behind the propped palm, “This is so embarrassing.”

“Yeah, for us,” Ino counters, taking a piece of meat with her chopsticks. “Just ask him out! It certainly worked for me and Sakura.”

Shikamaru gives her a look. “Yes, after _five_ years of dancing around each other.”

“We were rivals! It would have ruined our tension, and that way we have a proper love story. None of that useless lesbian bullshit stereotype, we were on a different wavelength,” Ino complains, shaking her head. This makes her ponytail move, hair sticking to her face, and she makes a noise of disgust. “You’ve known each other for about a month now, officially, and there’s tension between the two of you! Just cut it all off, ask him out!”  
  


“I don’t need to be with Naruto, I could be his close friend. I just feel compelled to be by his side. He.. he is like the sun,” Shikamaru says, looking as if he wants the shadows to swallow him alive, and hesitantly takes a piece of meat for himself. Chouji and Ino both fix him an unimpressed look, as if saying _this fool._ “And what if we end up like Temari and I? We started off great but then we broke up,”

Ino honest to the gods just laughs at him and hits him with a chopstick. “You’re so silly, doofus!” she exclaims, taking a broccoli from Chouji’s plate. “If people went into relationships thinking about breaking up, then no one would ever date at all!”

* * *

Ino’s words keep turning in his mind during the rest of the week. It’s so annoying, as if the woman is always there, looking down at Shikamaru and his supposedly easily solved emotional distress. It still follows him on Friday, again working at Tsunade’s central office. During his break, Shikamaru decides to take a walk, and considers the moment in which cloud-watching stopped being enough to take Naruto off his mind. 

It was troublesome, _way_ too troublesome. 

He walks aimlessly down a street two blocks away from the office building, hands inside his pockets and a slouch on his shoulders. His mother had told him just the day before that he had been spending too much time with Kakashi, if that slouch was any indication, much to Shikamaru’s increasing distress. The Nara has a cigarette in his mouth, but it goes out after he just leaves it there without inhaling for a few minutes. He’s pretty sure he has left the lighter at the office, and curses. 

“Impressive vocabulary!” exclaims a yellow-orange blurb, running at him with impressive speed. Shikamaru side steps before they collide, and the being ( _Naruto?_ his mind murmurs questionably) falls onto the floor, a disheartening amount of papers exploding from the collision. They had seen each other sporadically in their apartment building after that awkward situation at Naruto’s apartment, and Shikamaru apparently now qualified for surprise Naruto hugs. “Shikamaru~ you’re so mean!”

“Naruto? What are you doing here?” Shikamaru asks, moving to help Naruto collect all the papers again, “Come on, I’ll help you reorganize your paperwork.”

Naruto smiles blindingly, picking himself up from the floor. “Hehe, sorry! I just didn’t think I’d see you this close to my dad’s office, ‘ttebayo!” he says adorably, Shikamaru’s traitorous mind supplies, “Thank you for helping me.”

They pick up all the papers together in about five minutes, and Shikamaru is thankful that the breeze today has been minimal. That would have certainly put up a much more difficult task, and Shikamaru’s not one to chase after anything. The shuffle the papers, a pack each, as best as they can to make them organized again. It proves to be futile, and Shikamaru feels bad for the person who might pull extra hours just to rearrange the documents. They stand there in silence for a whole minute, almost a record with them, before Naruto inevitably speaks up. “Want to walk with me to my dad’s office? If you have free time, obviously,” he says, weirdly subdued again. Shikamaru should find it eerie, but he also has a bit of back pain his mind is currently focusing on. “Are you on break?”

Shikamaru nods his head, a hum on his lips. He takes out the stick from his mouth, cigarette long unlit, and saves it in his pocket, hoping without much of a care that it doesn’t break. He gives his set of papers to Naruto, and the blonde piles all the paper haphazardly. They start walking, once again silent, and Shikamaru puts his hands in his back pockets, immediately straightening up his back. He steals a glance at Naruto, who looks good wearing casual clothes, even for an office. He has so much he wants to ask Naruto, wants to know everything, but instead keeps quiet, revelling in the sounds of the city. Naruto doesn’t move to speak, and so he doesn’t either.

Their walk is relatively short, considering neither are far from their office. They reach the lobby of the mayor’s office, and that’s when Naruto turns to Shikamaru.

“Are you mad at me?” His brow is furrowed, as if he had been overthinking the entire way over.

Shikamaru startles, and says incredulously, “Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know!” loudly exclaims Naruto, and the receptionist looks down at them, but doesn’t tell them to quiet or get out. Probably because Naruto is incredibly recognizable as Namikaze Minato’s son. “It could be for almost jumping you earlier, or making you uncomfortable dozens of times the past two weeks, or the whole package situation–hell, maybe you’re even mad I wasted one of your cigarettes, ‘ttebayo!”

“What? No, I’m not mad at you for any of that,” Shikamaru’s eyes widen, and he takes a step forward. He sighs, and boldly places both hands on each of Naruto’s shoulders. “You already both apologized and stated your case, plus you didn’t harm anyone, why would I continue to blame you for something? Sure, you’re reckless and irresponsible with your mail (At this, Naruto yelps) but you’re not dumb, and you’re likeable,” Shikamaru doesn’t even know where he’s going with this impromptu speech, but Naruto is looking at him, and he doesn’t want him to look away. His mind goes back to the sun comparison he had made for Ino and Chouji, and then turns blank. 

Naruto’s eyes do not leave him for a second, his head tilted to the side inquisitively. Shikamaru feels the blond’s hands moving, as if ready to drop the stack of papers. He looks down, breaking their gaze, and when he lifts his head again, he realizes how close they actually are. Naruto’s flushed, looking embarrassed, and Shikamaru feels a betraying blush in his cheeks.

“When they told me the two of you were being aggressively awkward, this wasn’t what I had in mind,” a voice says from two meters away, and both Naruto and Shikamaru step away from each other as if burnt. From the side, Sasuke gives them a shit eating grin. “Hello, dumbass. Shikamaru.”

Naruto’s whole face brightens in the other’s presence, and Shikamaru is a bit ashamed that he feels jealous, even knowing that Sasuke isn’t a threat to whatever he feels. He stays put in his place, arms now crossed. “Sasuke!” Naruto says, moving close to the other man. The blonde basically dumps the pack of papers on Sasuke’s unsuspecting arms. “I haven’t seen you in so long! Could you take this upstairs? You’d be of amazing help, ‘ttebayo!”

“When have I ever been of help?” Sasuke drawls, placing the whole pack of paper on the receptionist’s table, who just glares at them and then sighs. “Kushina’s asking for you upstairs.”

“For what? Did I miss anything?” Naruto exclaims worriedly, now looking between Sasuke and Shikamaru. He’s fiddling with his hands now that they’re free of the papers. Shikamaru also guesses his break must be about over now, and he’s a good ten minute walk away from the building.

Shikamaru looks at his wrist, even if he does not wear a clock, and figures he should go. “Tsunade will kill me if I’m late again,” he says, now his turn to look between the other two. Sasuke nods, almost grateful and yet scrutinizing Shikamaru with his eyes. Naruto exclaims a goodbye as he gets hounded away from Sasuke, who’s teasing him obviously. Shikamaru walks away, getting to the distance in which he doesn’t hear what they’re saying but he hears Naruto’s loud catchphrases. Their interaction weighs heavy on his mind, and yet he walks away.

–

Shikamaru sees Naruto on the weekend, but it doesn’t really count. They see each other from afar on Saturday when they both coincidentally go eat with their friends, and they pass each other on the hallway on Sunday just as Shikamaru is returning from Ino’s house and Naruto is going out somewhere. They had exchanged pleasantries, but Naruto was in a rush, and he apologized before walking off. Their next week is pleasant, but neither seems to have enough free time to meet up. Monday marks the date by which two weeks have passed since Naruto stopped sending packages to his apartment. On Saturday, the Nara feels as if something important will happen, and his heart flutters in his chest at the mere thought of the blond, even against his will. That morning, Shikamaru has slept well, but he still feels a bit void, having gotten used to the whole situation by that point, and yet knowing it was over.

Surprising him enough to immediately stand up from the bed, the doorbell rings. Whoever is on the other side scrambles just as quickly as they had come, and Shikamaru’s curiosity grows by the second. He decides to just grab his green robe, putting it over his t-shirt and boxers for a sense of normalcy. His bare feet pound against the wooden floor as he reaches the door handle, hesitant in his movements. Shikamaru peeps through the little hole, but sees nothing outside, and Naruto’s door is closed shut. Still, he feels the need to open the door.

When he does, he immediately sees nothing, but then his gaze turns downward, and he sees a medium sized Amazon box, and his eyes narrow. Did Naruto order another package? No delivery person bothered to make him sign anything, and he wonders about the quality of the service.

Maybe they just grew tired of the corporation, he would’ve too.

Shikamaru takes another look at the package, but decides to crouch down for better access. When he does, he discovers that the box has no official stamp or anything that suggests that it was from any corporation whatsoever, and when he picks up the package, it is surprisingly light, as if it holds nothing. His mind starts to work quickly, but comes to no possible conclusion. As he resigns himself to the absurdities of his life, Naruto’s door opens wide, and the man himself leans on the doorframe. 

“Look at you, out here spying on me again. Got tired of the normalcy, didn’t you?” Shikamaru teases, “At least someone did... They left an empty box in my doorstep.”

Naruto laughs, but there’s no bite behind it, and winces, looking away from Shikamaru. “I did,” he mumbles, and the Nara quickly stands up to meet him face to face. “Send it, that is. Well, more than I just placed it there, y’know. It didn’t feel right to just knock on your door, y’know? I just wanted to see you.”

“Oh,” he supplies dumbly, Shikamaru’s mind short-circuiting. He has kind of been avoiding any serious conversation with Naruto, not wanting to discuss any feelings. Shikamaru does have a master’s degree in avoiding conflict, according to Neji. “You could’ve just called me?”

“I don’t have your number, ‘ttebayo,” Naruto says, embarrassed. Shikamaru flushes at the idea of asking Naruto for his number, his nerves overtaking his need to be stoic. Naruto continues rambling. “And I, uh, I thought this was our thing, y’know? The packages and the mail and us talking door to door, y’know. Our… thing. Yeah! Our thing!” He says this last thing with a smile, proud of himself, and gods, Shikamaru wants to melt in a puddle. 

“Our thing,” he repeats, tentatively stepping closer to Naruto, who meets him halfway. They’re standing close now, just a few centimeters away. They’re almost the same height, so they’re looking at each other directly to the eyes. Shikamaru fiddles with the box in his hands, which grounds him. “I didn’t know we had a thing.”

_(When he retells this to Ino later on, she screeches out, “You obviously had a thing, you dumbass! And they say you’re smart–”)_

It is as if the air surrounding Naruto is dynamic, full of static, and pulling Shikamaru to his orbit. When he had made that sun comparison to Ino and Chouji all those days ago, he had honestly believed it, but had never felt a stronger pull towards anyone, not even Temari on their better days. Naruto looks down, almost shy, as he taps his feet. “We could,” he almost whispers, but they’re so close it feels like a scream, “We could have a thing, I mean.”

Everything that has built up inside of Shikamaru in the past month breaks then and there, the package falling from his hands as he moves them up, one holding Naruto’s shoulder as the other cups the blond’s cheek. The box doesn’t even make a sound as it tumbles onto the floor. The scene is so intimate Shikamaru feels as if he will combust any second, and then Naruto leans on his palm, eyes shuttering close. Shikamaru looks at the man in wonder. How did they get to this point, standing almost in an embrace? The blonde is so earth shatteringly beautiful, and from this close Shikamaru can see the length of his eyelashes. He caresses the other’s shouldering, wondering at the warmth of his skin, even through his clothes.

They’re so close, positioned perfectly in a way Shikamaru could just–

“Do you mean that?” 

“What?”

Naruto’s eyes flutter open, and turn inquisitive. Shikamaru’s all double entendres and cyphers and codes, but Naruto’s just so incredibly straightforward, and his mind wanders towards the possibility that Naruto just doesn’t mean _a thing_ as something remotely romantic. “That we could have a thing–a serious thing,” Shikamaru mumbles, Naruto’s eyes too interesting to look away. These same eyes widen, and Naruto gasps in disbelief.

“You– I– Oh my god. I’m the most obvious person in the world. Don’t you know I like you? Wait, do you like me, ‘ttebayo? Fuck, we never talked about this before–” Naruto rambles on, but Shikamaru’s mind is almost on autopilot, moving the arm that was on Naruto’s shoulder to the blond’s hair, twirling a strand. He wanders at the softness of the hair, he would’ve thought Naruto didn’t use conditioner and such. His mind goes back to paying attention when Naruto calls his name. He looks a bit disgruntled, voice sharp and loud, “Are you even listening to me, ‘ttebayo?” 

Shikamaru’s mouth opens and then closes, left speechless at the amount of contact they have. He’s not touch starved by any means, but Naruto’s just _so warm._

“Ah, fuck it!” Naruto exclaims, and then cups both of Shikamaru’s cheeks and closes the minimal distance they had been keeping. There are no fireworks, no earth-shattering revelations, and really, the kiss is itself very chaste, but Shikamaru tingles all over. It ends as soon as it starts, and they look at each other in silence for one whole second. 

“Wow,” Shikamaru mumbles, eyes fluttering shut. He rests his forehead on Naruto’s, breathing in. The blonde’s breath tickles on the nose, and Shikamaru slowly smiles at the sensation. They breathe together in tandem, synchronized in a way Shikamaru has never felt before with another person. His heart beats too fast, too loud, and he moves his other hand to Naruto’s jaw, still not daring to open his eyes. Naruto makes a sort of feral screech, and slots their mouths together once again, this time with more heat behind the kiss. Shikamaru lets him, at first, before responding in kind, hands moving to the back of his neck in order to pull him closer. The blonde moves too fast, and Shikamaru slows it down. 

Kissing Naruto is like a drug, and he intends to savour every moment of it. They stand still, moving closer and closer until even the molecules between them are joined, and then Naruto moves, backing the other into the wall. Unknowingly, the Nara kicks away the cardboard box as he stumbles back. They are still moving slowly, pressing soft chaste kisses into the other’s mouths, not daring to go further for now, even as much as Shikamaru wants to. For the looks of it, Naruto clearly wants to, but they should speak about this first.

Any thoughts of talking then are tabled as Naruto presses the tip of his tongue on Shikamaru’s lower lip. He doesn’t deny its entry, and Naruto maps the inside of Shikamaru’s mouth, hands wandering to his hips, pinning him in place. Shikamaru stills for a second, the press of the blond’s hips on his own too much for his own good, and a moan leaves the back of his throat, at which Naruto devilishly grins into his mouth. They stay that way for so long, and yet not enough, pressing together out in the hallways between their apartments. 

And if one of their neighbors screams at them for desecrating the hall, well, that’s a discussion for later. 

* * *

Later that day, when he and Naruto cuddle in the Nara's couch– _Your couch is too dingy, mine is comfortable,_ he reasons between kisses, and Naruto readily agrees–Shikamaru remembers something that he had been meaning to ask.

“Wait, I never did ask,” Shikamaru says, looking up from the other’s chest. Naruto’s eyes had been focusing on the TV, which plays some reality show; one hand on Shikamaru’s back and the other caressing his hair. The blonde looks at him inquisitively, stopping all movement. “Why did you buy one of Gai’s latex suits? Doesn’t he give them away for free?”

Naruto groans, and pulls Shikamaru close again, mumbling into his hair, “I wanted to support his work, y’know! If he just gives them out, then it’s a loss, and no one appreciates it!”

He figures someone had already commented on that, probably Sakura. The Nara laughs into Naruto’s chest, and he feels Naruto’s heart flutter under his touch. Shikamaru remembers how Naruto’s stupid debacle had brought them together, and Shikamaru’s not sappy on any occasion, but he’s glad for it. He closes his eyes, drinking in Naruto’s warmth. 

From his place on the couch, Shikamaru can’t see the clouds pass, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> comment!! i love comments <3
> 
> my twitter is [@shikameninist](https://twitter.com/shikameninist) if you'd like to bitch directly to me :)


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